=SaNdY^BaBii= Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Hi All, I have had Momo now for around 3 months. She is now 5 months old and just de-sexed last friday. She has been great, not toileting in the house or making a big mess. I am just curious though, she doesn't like being patted or cuddles or touched at all. Is that normal for puppies?? For example, she would be lying on the ground and if i lie down next to her and pat her, she actually gets up, walks a few steps away and lies down again away from me. If I am hugging her, she struggles free and runs off. She also doesn't like to be on the bed or the couch, she always jumps off and lies down in on the floor. A lot of times I find that she is just sitting away from us on the floor somewhere. Sometimes even hiding in a corner. I can not figure out why she is doing this at all. Can anyone tell me why she is like this? Are some dogs just more independant than others? Could this be a result of us telling her off when she did something wrong and so she doesn't like to be close to us anymore? Also, she got de-sexed on friday and we were told by the VET not to let her lick her wound too much. But it seems like she is licking it every minute I can't really stop her from doing it, should i get one of those cone things to stop her from licking? Thanks in advance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aidan Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Most dogs dislike being hugged, and some of our body language can actually be quite intimidating to a dog. Have you taken her to a puppy class? They are very important for quality socialisation, and your instructor should be able to show you some ways to express your affection that your pup might enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poodlefan Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 What breed is Momo? Yes, get an Elizabethan collar on her ASAP. Licking stitches wicks bacteria into the wound. You don't want her to do that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandra777 Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 If she's been licking the stitches since Friday then chances are any damage that will be done is already done. Have you examined the wound, are the stitches still present and does the wound look clean? I would have had a bucket on her head by Friday night if she was mine (better safe than sorry) but if the wound looks fine then that's OK. I would get her a bucket to fit or an Elizabethan collar from the vet if you prefer. Has she always been so distant towards you or has it developed over time? Hiding in corners definitely doesn't sound right, but I wouldn't think it would be as a result of you telling her off unless you went way overboard (bet you didn't ) and beat her regularly Refusing to allow you to hold her suggests to me that she is thinking she doesn't have to do what you want and can please herself. I don't buy into the whole "me human me pack leader" idea but amongst dogs the dominant dog can touch the submissive dog whenever they choose and the submissive dog will accept it, so this is something to be considered. Part of my puppy pack includes thoughts on this and advice to get the puppy used to being held whether the puppy likes it or not, so perhaps this is something you want to investigate. Yes some dogs are more independent than others and if this suits you then it actually makes for a very easy dog to own - no separation issues, no constantly hounding for pats etc etc etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 But it seems like she is licking it every minute icon_smile_mad.gif and she will- it is instinctual. yes, you need an elizabethan collar properly fitted for her... With regard to her behaviour otherwise... perhaps she is just getting too much attention? Maybe change things around... only praise/cuddle her when she earns it. When she sits, or walks nicely... when she brings back her toy for you... when she is lying quietly.... When you do praise her- be calm and don't try & hug her- she's not a doll,, or a human baby Scratch her chest- stroke her face along the sides... scratch on her back.. just above the tail... and see if she responds better . Do you know what the situation was with her breeder? perhaps the puppies were not handled properly when babies? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogsfevr Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 From the other posts i think your pup is Pom. Poms area spitz breed & can most certainly be independent. I show a few poms for friends & i wouldnt call them cuddly,they love to be touched & talked to but i wouldnt call them a cuddling breed. The ones i handle enjoy sitting on your knee being touched,enjoy there tummies tickled but not snuggling. From experience i find many people frieghten there pups when they come home as they often pick them up & want hug & cuddle . Me as a human im not a cuddly type person & feel uneasy when people greet with ahug type thing & yes dogs can also feel its not for them & often when over done the dog thinks ill just not bother coming over. Yes your breed is cute & small but there not handbag dogs ,they are very lively & enjoy nothing more than doing zoomies & knowing your watching. Whilst im not saying your pushy some people feel the need to pick up & make the pup snuggle & it wont happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fainty_girl Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Do you think she's scared or does she just like her space? I grew up with a dog who didn't like to be cuddled and that's just the way she was. Both of my dogs are very cuddly and affectionate, I guess it just depends on what they feel comfortable with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
=SaNdY^BaBii= Posted August 18, 2009 Author Share Posted August 18, 2009 (edited) Momo is a pom x bichon I haven't taken her to puppy school as haven't found any close enough to me. (I am in Melbourne East Doncaster area btw!) BF says that as long as she isn't being naughty or doing anything bad, she doesn't have to like sticking to us. He said that as long as she is happy and healthy that's the important thing. Everyone think the same? Or is there really an issue with seeing herself as a leader and not really need to obey us or want to stick to us? Some people have replied that a lot of dogs don't like snuggling and I think I can understand that. But with momo I am not even hugging sometimes, just really softly touching her and patting her. She will still walk off, it's like.. she just doesn't like being in contact with human at all!! I think I will take her to the VET and get them to have a look just to make sure. I can't really tell whether the wound is suppose to be reddish and a bit swollen because that's what happens when wounds heal (for humans anyway) or if it's cuz she's been licking it Edited August 18, 2009 by =SaNdY^BaBii= Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poodlefan Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 (edited) Sandy, I'd be really interested to see what happened if Momo had to come to you for affection rather than you going to her. As an experiment, why don't you go home tonight and ignore her.. don't initiate any contact all night - make her do the work. Ask her to sit or do something you ask for before she's patted. Perhaps she doesn't like as much attention as she's getting. But it would be interesting to find out what she does when you make her do the work to get your attention. Edited August 18, 2009 by poodlefan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
=SaNdY^BaBii= Posted August 18, 2009 Author Share Posted August 18, 2009 Sandy, I'd be really interested to see what happened if Momo had to come to you for affection rather than you going to her.As an experiment, why don't you go home tonight and ignore her.. don't initiate any contact all night - make her do the work. Ask her to sit or do something you ask for before she's patted. Perhaps she doesn't like as much attention as she's getting. But it would be interesting to find out what she does when you make her do the work to get your attention. She does enjoy attention but not in the touchy type at all. The only time she comes to me is when she wants to play with toy or when she is being fed. Other than that, she doesn't want to be touched at all. If we do ignore her though, like when we are busy making dinner, she will sit there looking at us, paw at our feet or make a funny groooooollll growl. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogsfevr Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 (edited) I wouldnt worry.i think your OH has it right & she is only a youngster . For example i have 3 dogs here. One is a super snuggler,will snuggle on the lounge,will snuggle on the floor.will snuggle on anything that you sit/stand on. My older boy has never been a snuggler but simply adores being acknowledged whether it be a simple touch or the sound of your voice.he is avery loving dog but he doesnt require touchy/feelys to feel loved. My young boy at bedtime is a bed snuggler,when outside he again isnt a snuggle BUT he loves shaking hands or simply parading around with his ball talking & me again acknowledging that hes special. Edited August 18, 2009 by settrlvr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miranda Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Maybe it's because I have large dogs, but I don't understand why people always want to be picking their dogs up and cuddling them. I stroke my dogs and rub their ears when I feel like it, but I certainly don't cuddle them as in hugging and carrying them around. They are dogs after all, not babies or soft toys and just because they're small enough to be picked up doesn't mean that they automatically like it. I know from reading posts on DOL that some dogs love this sort of attention, but maybe your puppy is one that doesn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aidan Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Or is there really an issue with seeing herself as a leader and not really need to obey us or want to stick to us? No. If she learns inappropriate behaviours to get what she wants, then you have a problem. In that case it is simply a matter of learning how to change your behaviour to address those inappropriate behaviours. There is nothing from your posts that might suggest this is the case, but feel free to add. If she doesn't like being touched, grooming and veterinary care could become an issue. You can teach dogs to accept these procedures, I would use clicker training. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
=SaNdY^BaBii= Posted August 18, 2009 Author Share Posted August 18, 2009 I wouldnt worry.i think your OH has it right & she is only a youngster .For example i have 3 dogs here. One is a super snuggler,will snuggle on the lounge,will snuggle on the floor.will snuggle on anything that you sit/stand on. My older boy has never been a snuggler but simply adores being acknowledged whether it be a simple touch or the sound of your voice.he is avery loving dog but he doesnt require touchy/feelys to feel loved. My young boy at bedtime is a bed snuggler,when outside he again isnt a snuggle BUT he loves shaking hands or simply parading around with his ball talking & me again acknowledging that hes special. He is avery loving dog but not a full snuggler but all 3 are very loving & loyal I guess as long as it's not because of something that I have done to upset her then it's ok! I was just worried that it might be something to do with irritation or fear with me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
=SaNdY^BaBii= Posted August 18, 2009 Author Share Posted August 18, 2009 Maybe it's because I have large dogs, but I don't understand why people always want to be picking their dogs up and cuddling them. I stroke my dogs and rub their ears when I feel like it, but I certainly don't cuddle them as in hugging and carrying them around. They are dogs after all, not babies or soft toys and just because they're small enough to be picked up doesn't mean that they automatically like it. I know from reading posts on DOL that some dogs love this sort of attention, but maybe your puppy is one that doesn't. I think I would be annoyed too if someone wanted to cuddle me all the time. But I am not cuddling her or suffocating her like that. I am talking like if i stroked her head, she would turn her head left and right to get away from my hand. If I stroke her back, she will get up and walk away from me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
=SaNdY^BaBii= Posted August 18, 2009 Author Share Posted August 18, 2009 Or is there really an issue with seeing herself as a leader and not really need to obey us or want to stick to us? No. If she learns inappropriate behaviours to get what she wants, then you have a problem. In that case it is simply a matter of learning how to change your behaviour to address those inappropriate behaviours. There is nothing from your posts that might suggest this is the case, but feel free to add. If she doesn't like being touched, grooming and veterinary care could become an issue. You can teach dogs to accept these procedures, I would use clicker training. I am actually thinking that she might not like being touched because previously when I do get her close to me I try and groom her, eg combing her or cutting nails because that's the only time I can do it. Otherwise she is running around playing and all sorts. Could it be because of this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogsfevr Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 It could be the way you approach her, Dont mean to be personal but ar eyou a smoker??Some dogs for example find the smell on hands very overwhelming. Very strong perfume the same. I wouldnt worry,just ignore & reward . Your pup is still very young Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
=SaNdY^BaBii= Posted August 18, 2009 Author Share Posted August 18, 2009 It could be the way you approach her,Dont mean to be personal but ar eyou a smoker??Some dogs for example find the smell on hands very overwhelming. Very strong perfume the same. I wouldnt worry,just ignore & reward . Your pup is still very young Yes, i am a smoker.. didn't know that could put my puppy off! maybe I should wash hands everytime after smoking! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 What does she do when you put her collar and leash on and go for a walk? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
=SaNdY^BaBii= Posted August 18, 2009 Author Share Posted August 18, 2009 What does she do when you put her collar and leash on and go for a walk? She is very excited, jumping running around, then i tell her sit and she sits I put the collar on without much trouble. Then she just wants to rush out the door. She is not trained to the point she will sit and wait etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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