How Do You Make The Decision... :(

[Melo]

I am so upset and confused at the moment, I know my little girls days are numbered but will I really KNOW when I have to let her go. She has seperation in her elbow joint (front leg) and now both her front legs are full of arthritis so she has difficulty walking. She is on the strongest drugs possible to keep her comfortable, but the winter is not being kind. All was going ok until the last few days she has 'played' with our over grown boof of a shepherd and injured her back leg then she took a tumble trying to run to her outside bed to have her bikkie. So the last couple of day we had to up the drugs and she still looks a little uncomfortable and is now not eating her full meals, still eating but just not all of it although will not say no to a bikkie It is hard, as she sill quite a happy dog and very determined to go for her morning walk even though it is only a 5 minute stroll, she still wags her tail and looks happy, but I can still see the sadness in her eyes.

She is only 9 god damn it, why does she have to go!!!!!!!!!!

[oakway]

If you love them enough you will know when it's time.

I don't put my dogs through anything, I love them to much to let them suffer.

[puggy_puggy]

When she has a certain look in her eye you will know.

The last boy I put down was here on holidays and had stomach lymphoma. I did pallative care for him for three weeks, syringe feeding etc, he was still happy as larry and enjoyed trotting around the house and the yard and napping in the sun even thought he ate very little had constant explosive diarrhea and looked like a skeleton. The day before I let him have his wings he just wasn't his happy little self and I knew it was time.

[persephone]

If she cannot do the things she enjoys, and is not eating well... you need to decide WHO you are keeping her alive for... is for you, or is it for her ?

If she is generally happy and comfortable, then no need to decide just yet.

If she is in pain, uncomfortable, and very restricted... then a decision needs to be made as to how much more suffering you will allow.

it is very hard.

I have done it many times...and I think it actually gets harder

[Erny]

You'll know. Give her some time to recover from some of the additional soreness she has caused for herself by her activity. If you think she wants to keep going, let it be because she is showing you the signs that she does. But you will know when the time has come. Hasten slowly. .... because I know what having to make that decision is like. It is gut wrenching - one of the most difficult things you'll possibly ever do. Yet in your heart, you'll know it to be the right decision for the right reasons and those reasons will be completely selfless.

In the meantime, revel in the little joys she gives to and takes from life, with her. Enjoy every moment .

Edited June 29, 2009 by Erny

[joanne76]

Before it happened to me I didnt beleive it people said " you will know when its time" but its very true.

One day she will look at you with a face that tells you she is ready and you will know.

Im in the same position with one of my dogs and its awful.

Take on day at a time.

Best wishes to you both, i hope she feels better soon

[cassie]

Melo is this Tara you are talking about? Gosh I am so very sorry Big hugs to you and her.

[Melo]

Yes Cassie it is unfortunately Tara

Thank you to all the replys and please believe me when I say I will not let her suffer. I feel a little better that I will see more of a sign that it is time, and I don't think it is far off unless she does get over the 'hiccups' she had over the last couple of days. I figure while she still greats me loudly at the door each night to tell me how her day was (well thats what it seems like she is doing ) and still eating then she is still holding in there, but realistically I know that if the drugs don't make her comfortable enough to lay down and sleep (and so far they are, without hitting the maximum she is allowed) then it has to be time.

[Clyde]

Melo. I haven't 'seen' you around for ages. I'm truly sorry that Tara's ill health is what has brought you back

You just seem to know when it's their time, go with your gut.

Take care

Dru.

[poodle proud]

Hi Melo,

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

We recently had to say goodbye to a good friend. We had about 6 months between diagnosis of his cancer and 'knowing' it was time to say goodbye.

We had a lunch with all the family and everybody got photos with him. We all agree this probably helped prepare us as there was nothing that we now think we wished we had done but hadnt.

He was happy until the end so personally we didnt want to wait until he was miserable as this would mean he was in a lot of pain. I think it also depends on the problem. We were told there would eventually be terrible consequences of our boy's cancer that meant he would end up sufferng tremendously and possibly while no one was at home which to us was unthinkable.

At one point we thought no it's not time but within a week or two we were agreed. He was still friendly and wagging his tail but the sparkle in his eye had gone. I have no doubt you will 'know'.

Our boy was pts at home and when the time comes in the future I would choose this again.

Thinking of you

[Anna H]

as others have said, you will know when it's time.

I chose to let my old boy go the day he could no longer play fetch without being in pain (he lived to play fetch and he would've broken his soul to not be able to). I never regretted this decision although I still miss him terribly - I will always remember that sparkle in his eyes as I let leave this world before it went out.

Thinking of you in these tough times, take care

Edited June 30, 2009 by AnnaW

[BIG-DOG-LOVER]

It's a terrible position to be in, but as the human, sometimes a decision has to be made by us

We had to say goodbye to our GSD girl on the weekend. She had been going downhill rapidly over the past few months and then more recently lost control of her bowels. We knew it was nearly time for her to go but still were putting it off (for our sake).

On Sunday morning I went to give her some left over spaghetti bolognaise sauce (which she loves) and she didn't walk up to eat it as normal so I placed it under her nose where she proceeded to sniff it but not eat.......that was the moment that I 'knew', and went and spoke with my husband.

The hardest thing was as soon as we put the lead on her she to take her to the vets she was very excited and was the same at the vets.....vet said this was normal and was just adrenaline kicking in.

It's not a decision that we took lightly and was exceptionally hard to have to do (first time I've had to make the decision), but we knew it was best for her that she got a chance to rest.

Hugs to you as I know exactly what you are going through.

[all that glitters]

I'm so sorry u have this decision to make

[Melo]

Well just a little update:

She is still hanging in there, I have spent alot of the week crying as I really don't know how I will make the decision . For now she is still comfortable, happy, eating and giving her GS buddy an earful whenever she feels like it , so she still has some fight in her.

She did get me up the other night, I thought she was in pain (which there may have been a little) so I gave her some of her medication and about 1/2 hour later she settled and went back to sleep, then in the morning I found she had had an accident inside which usually upsets her as well so that could have been why she was unsettled. Its is such a roller coaster ride of emotions, 1 minute I think 'how the heck to I make the decision to take her life' and then its 'oh crap she looks in pain is this about to be the time?', believe me my poor old brain is working overtime.

[dianed]

I,d take Ernys advice and give her time, seems like she,s managing at the moment. I went thru the same thing this time last year with my 9yo. Vets told me she had lung cancer so there was no happy ending and she was going down hill.

I still wonder did I do the right thing at that time. I just wish I knew about DOL then and I could have shared my experience with others who had been in the same position. All the best thoughts for you and Tara.

[JulesP]

Hugs Melo.

I also have an oldie, a 15yo border collie. Her legs aren't good and she is deaf and a bit dotty. But she is still eating and seems happy. It is hard to watch when her legs go on her and I feel like I should have her put to sleep then, but the next second she is up and tail wagging. It is very hard when it is not clear cut.

Also have a 19yo cat that one day looks on her last legs and the next day is fine.

[snuffysmum]

What a terrible decision it is to make. I decided to put my 14 year old Golden to sleep in April after putting it off for months. It got to the stage where he would lie on our tiles in the kitchen but couldn't get up off the floor unless we lifted him up and helped him walk to the toilet. The day his back legs collapsed the minute I let go was the deciding thing for me. Looking back on it now, I wish I had been braver and done it a month sooner rather than letting him suffer but it was such a heartbreaking decision and I was literally sick for a week trying to decide when to do it. He never complained though and would always wag his tail and try to follow me around, but really it was selfish of me to let it go on for that last month. I feel ashamed of myself.

[Erny]

I feel ashamed of myself.

Don't. And don't beat yourself up about it. It is incredibly hard to 'play God' and that's what I felt I was doing when I had to make the decision for my girl. Point is, you cared enough to help him.

[Her Majesty Dogmad]

It's when they are no longer enjoying life unless it is a medical emergency. As humans, we are unable to do this for our friends and relatives when they are suffering but we can do this for our pets and ensure they are not in needless pain.

I have had to make the decision 3 times within 6 months. My first little girl had Cushings, a tumour on her pituitary and she started having constant panic attacks which the vet said meant the tumour was pressing on part of her brain.

The second girl was very elderly too but her back legs went on her and she could no longer even make it to the corner and my neighbour heard her screaming and stuck in the back yard while I was at work so that was it.

I put my Italian Greyhound to sleep in February when he suddenly became ill in the middle of the night, screaming every half an hour or so. By the time morning came, he couldn't walk. He'd always had a neuro problem but nothing could be done but I just knew it was time, he was getting worse and worse.

It is never easy, a terrible agony that responsible owners face - the parting is very hard no matter what.

Those who are wicked, desert their dogs by turning them loose or putting them in the pound. Happens all the time.

Be brave and don't waver, listen to your vet's advice and your own inner voice, you will know. Sending hugs to you.

[missmoo]

Melo,

You will know. You will look at your girl one day and know the time is right. Trust in your dog to give you signs when she has had enough and you know your decision will be the right one. It is the hardest thing to do to let your beloved pups go to puppy heaven.