Poo d'état Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 (edited) - Ken Rockwell is the Chuck Norris of photography - Ken Rockwell's camera has similar settings to ours, except his are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic] - Ken Rockwell doesn't color correct. He adjusts your world to match his. - Sure, Ken Rockwell deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers. - Ken Rockwell doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time. - Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Ken Rockwell never is. - Ken Rockwell doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the light waits for him. - Ken Rockwell never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth - Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one. - Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead. - When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories - Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a Canon sticker - Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one; thats how Pentax was born () - Rockwellian policy isn't doublethink - Ken doesn't even need to think once - Ken Rockwell doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident. - Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius - Ken Rockwell wanted something to distract the lesser photographers, and lo, there were ducks. - Ken Rockwell is the only one who can take self-portraits of you - Ken Rockwell's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure - Ken Rockwell once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble SpaceTelescope. - When Ken unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it. - Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes - On Ken Rockwell's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine - Ken Rockwell spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d" - When Ken Rockwell went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of business because he was no longer phyically discarding photos - For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers. - Ken Rockwell's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's. - Ken Rockwell never focuses, everything moves into his DoF - Ken Rockwell's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned photoshop for him: all it consists of is a close button. - The term tripod was coined after his silhouette - Ken Rockwell never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer - A certain brand of high-end cameras was named after people noticed the quality was a lot "like a" rockwell - Ken Rockwell isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the Ken Rockwell of martial arts. - Ken Rockwell never starts, he continues Edited June 1, 2009 by ruffdiamond Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke W Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 That's very clever - there's a lot of good ones there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Are You Serious Jo Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 - Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one; thats how Pentax was born () Heretic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashanali Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Very clever - Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one; thats how Pentax was born - Ken Rockwell spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d" the amusing thing is that in Australia, both brands are wholesaled by the same company Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tess32 Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 hehe, funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PossumCorner Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 I thought it was funny til I got to Hasselblad. Not funny Ken. We Hasselblad people are sensitive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashanali Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 I thought it was funny til I got to Hasselblad. Not funny Ken. We Hasselblad people are sensitive. It was actually a compliment to Hassleblad and the skill of Ken Rockwell. I think you missed the joke :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PossumCorner Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 (edited) oops Edited June 5, 2009 by PossumCorner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PossumCorner Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Lighten up, the whole thread is fun responses to a joke. I think everyone gets it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashanali Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Huh? I'm plenty happy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blacklabrador Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Am I the only one who is going to say "who is Ken Rockwell?" Or should I have googled him and pretended I knew? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashanali Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 He's a highly regarded photographer (obviously ) Yes. Google is your friend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tess32 Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 I think he's crap Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashanali Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Tess, did I say I like him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tess32 Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Someone might be sucked into it if you put 'highly regarded' without a puke emoticon, heheh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blacklabrador Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 I think he's crap I guess whether people like someone else's art or not is a personal opinion. I'll go google him and tell you if I regard him highly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blacklabrador Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 I just had a quick look and I have to say that some of his animal photos leave a bit to be desired. Put it this way - they wouldn't be included on my website if I were a famous professional photographer. I like his landscapes though but I prefer looking at people photography. The joke is pretty clever though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashanali Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 I think it's more that he's a bit of a techno-geek than anything, but there are still people out there who think he's god (obviously - according to the joke) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocco Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 I think he's crap Glad it wasn't just me. I googled his work after reading and thought it was boring. But I am sure his work appeals to some and he is very good technically and I enjoy his reviews. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke W Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 He's highly regarded by Ken Rockwell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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