What Is The Best Way To Help My Crying Baby?

[ClaireBaxter84]

Hello all,

At the weekend me and my partner bought an adorable Pomeranian X Mini Foxie called Alfie. We have a large house with a big tiled kitchen and a sliding door so that he can access the backyard with no problems.

We are a young couple and whilst we have both grown up with dogs and loved them, it seems that our parents obviously did the hard slog to train them - so research and help is needed!

Since Alfie arrived I have spent hours and hours on the internet trying to research and learn how to make we properly care for, train and love him!

The main problem that I have is his anxiety at being away from people. I know from reading lots of threads on the forum that this is perfectly normal, after all he is an 8 week old baby who has never been on his own in his life! Me and my partner work full time so are out of the house from 8am - 6pm. At the moment I have recruited a family member to move in with us because if I try and leave Alfie on his own his screams can be heard 4 streets away! I get up at 6am and play/feed him and try to exhaust him before I leave the house. When it is time for me to leave the recruited family member is on hand to reassure him that there is someone there.

My question is, what is the best way to get Alfie used to being on his own? Crate training seems to be a big thumbs up? Does anyone have any tips?

I think we will be ok with the toilet training. He has his first vaccination on Saturday so I will finally be able to take him outside to 'go wee wees'. He is sleeping in a box next to our bed and will sleep right through the night if I exhaust him enough with only a few whimpers that putting my hand for reassurance down wont' cure. He does have a puppy pad in the area next to our bed which he does pee on during the night - after his vaccination I guess I should be taking him outside on his leash?

For the first couple of months I thought I may even take him to puppy creche so that he can get used to other dogs, socialise and see that other dogs aren't bothered when the humans leave! But will this reinforce him needing to be surrounded by people all the time?

I guess I am just stressing out as this is my first time as a mum and I want to get it right - I feel so bad coming to work everyday. I recently emigrated here from London with my aussie partner and have been so homesick that I just wanted little Alfie to be given the best start possible so that we can have a good relationship together!

Thank you all for listening to my little stress!

Any tips most appreciated - especially if you also work full time.

Thanks,

Claire

[Dogsfevr]

Where did you buy him?

Do you now how he was raised??

Its catch 22 .Make sure the family member isnt over doing the baby sitting,The most important thing is they encourage independences as mush as possible & not to pander to the whinging.

Both breeds your little one is made up off can have needy natures so its important to stick with the rules from day i.Poms can be very vocal critters given a chance.

When you leave & return make no fuss at all.The more you make off both it instills a routine of OMG im getting fussed there leaving.You need to make both parts calm,quite & low key so your pup doesnt get over stimulted by it.

When home dont pander or sook.First & foremost remember its adog & you can love it to death but dogs adjust better when they have there own identity & now where they fit in the dynmaics.A happy dog is an enjoyablke dog a spoilt one is amonster

[Stitch]

You sound like you really want to do the right thing by your new puppy and are absolutely ready to shower him with love and affection however being stressed and worried and probably guilty because you have to go to work and can't spend enough time with him is having the opposite effect on you and the stress seems to be passing on to your puppy. Small as he is, he is picking up on your stress.

The best way you can show your love is to help him to become calm and well adjusted.....so take a deep breath and try to relax!

Puppy can start at this early age to learn acceptable behaviour. Start teaching him to do basic training like sit, come, wait, etc. At 12 weeks you can take him along to Puppy Preschool to socialise with other pups. Take him for little walks around your property. Teach him to walk on a lead.

Help your pup to learn what is acceptable behaviour by teaching it to have confidence in itself. Cute as it is, don't pick it up and cuddle it so much. You don't have to play with it all the time in order to be a good 'mum', you have to teach it that being quiet and being by itself is good behaviour too. It is important to remember to use the reward of affection after the pup has done something to earn the reward.

Pass your calm and relaxed attitude on to your pup and that will be a good start.

Remember it can take up to 2 weeks for a new puppy to settle in to his new environment.

[Sandra777]

Stop filling his every waking minute with your presence. It's hard when they're so young and cute, but he needs to learn to do things by himself and that it's OK to be alone.

A puppy pen with some really good toys can help. He only gets to play with those toys in the puppy pen, and when he's in the puppy pen you leave him absolutely alone, no hovering over him and oohing and ahhing. This teaches him tthat being alone can be fun (good toys that you don't get when people are there) and that the puppy pen is a good place to be. Outside the puppy pen he can be with you and you can pat him etc but don't carry him all over the place - if he has the chance to walk he will find things to investigate, get "left behind" and work out for himself that not being constantly touched by you is fine.

A good sort of morning routine would be out to the toilet, then a cuddle, then some fun training (he's not to young to learn), then in his play pen for ten minutes or so. Out of the pen, just general hanging out with people time, throw a toy occasionally but not constantly, pat him occasionally but not constant cuddles. Out for another toilet stop then another little cuddle, breakfast then after another toilet stop and into the puppy pen and he'll probably be ready for a nap. On work mornings this is the right time to leave, even if he's crying he'll be tired and so go to sleep fairly quickly.

Being alone doesn't come naturally to a dog and some take longer than others to adapt to the odd human love of taking a pack animal into their home and then expecting it to be happy when it's pack leaves it alone. Millions of dogs all over the world get used to this odd behaviour, so Alfie can too.

While it's great that he can have some one with him all day for now - he still has to learn to be alone. With the other person in the house this lesson can be more gradual, but make sure they're actually teaching him this!

ETA: he is not your baby and you are not his mother. As Settrlvr said - you can love them to bits but they are still DOGS and have the right to be respected for what they are.

Edited April 23, 2009 by Sandra777

[ClaireBaxter84]

Thank you all so much for your comments.

Your completely right about 'over-attention' and I am sure my partners sister doesn't leave him alone at any point during the day so this may just be making his fretting over being alone worse.

I am definitely going to take all of your advice and invest in a playpen. Over the weekend when it is just myself and my partner we can ease him into being put in there for short amounts of time and reward him for being quiet.

I'll make to speak to my partners family who will be nipping in to see whilst we are at work (or he will be there) to ensure that they keep up the routine of the playpen.

Thank you for the food for thought - AND I totally get that I need to treat him as a dog. It is probably my fault and over excitement after not settling in Australia well to have something to love!

I will update you all soon :panting:

[W Sibs]

Awww.. Alfie is adorable!!

I agree with Sandra777 when she said Stop filling his every waking minute with your presence.

What I discovered what works for me is having a routine with my Charlie. Wake up, play with him, then my sister will play with him while I get ready for work, have breakfast, then we go for a 5-10 minute walk, then I give him a bone or chicken neck (he is crazy for them).. and while he is he eating, I leave. He doesn't notice. We do this every morning since I gone back to work after getting him. He gets a little sooky when I get home (well, when he realise that I'm home... he is usually snoozing or having an adventure in the backyard), but 5 minutes later, we are enjoying a snack together... LOL

The will learn that you go and that you will come back... so during that time, just give him some toys to play with, turn the radio on (this might give him comfort). HAHA.. my OH just recently bought a bubble machine, and he put a timer where 1 every hour.. it will blow bubbles for puppy to play with (he spends his working hours figuring out stuff that will entertain the little fella when we are at work!). My sister has bought him a new toy one every second day (I swear my house looks like a toodler lives there.. we even have a toy box now for the dog). Seriously, I think is my dog having more fun with or without me?! LOL Yes, I know Charlie is spoilt! But, he is my OH first puppy too... and yeah, spoilt.

Ignore the whinging if they just want something from you... seriously, they will learn that it doesn't work and they will quit doing it. Charlie is a crier... but we all ignore it. He does it less now... he only cries if he doesn't know where his favorite toy is... or he doesn't know which toy to play with and he can't fit 3 stuff toys in his mouth... LOL

[Bindii]

Are you positive he barks when *no one* is there?

Hugo is terrible when he can hear or see us... but i've pretended to go and snuck back (ie, not in a car cos he can hear that) and he makes no noise whatsoever - peaking through the window i find a very happy dog, sleeping or playing with a toy.

I know it's very common for dogs to bark non stop when owners are out, and the problem needs to be dealt with.... but this was just a thought.

I guess try leaving him for longer and longer amounts of time and he'll realise you always eventually come back. It's just going to have to be the way, as it is for so many of us that work and leave our dogs at home.

And as a side note: I don't care what anyone says, i know Hugo and Fletcher are dogs... But they are still my babies and i treat them like it And like babies, they need to know right from wrong and be correctly disciplined.

Edited April 23, 2009 by Bindii

[Sandra777]

HAHA.. my OH just recently bought a bubble machine, and he put a timer where 1 every hour.. it will blow bubbles for puppy to play with

That is a brilliant idea - always wanted to get one of those bubble machines, will have to get a timer too!

[glendabenda]

I think you can get one with tenis balls as well, which pop out and the dog collects them and return to the basket.

[ClaireBaxter84]

I am definitely going on ebay to look for the bubble machine - Alfie would love that!

[W Sibs]

I am definitely going on ebay to look for the bubble machine - Alfie would love that!

haha.. it's a good investment...

there is beef flavours bubbles too i think.. boyfriend is currently researching into that.. LOL

i put it out every other day because we don't want Charlie to get too bored with it..

[W Sibs]

I think you can get one with tenis balls as well, which pop out and the dog collects them and return to the basket.

oh.. i will look into that too!!