Jealousy Of Other Dogs

[MEU]

Hi all

I'm really stuck as to what to do about my 2 year old cocker spaniels jealousy issues. She is highly jealous of other dogs 'talking' to me. I take her to the park and she basically rounds other dogs up if they get too close. She will have a go at even the biggest dogs if they're coming in my direction and growls and barks and snarls and occassionally snaps. I don't believe she'll hurt the other dogs but it does start fights and I'm worried she'll choose the wrong dog one day and it'll get messy I now avoid taking her to parks where other dogs play but worried this will probably make it worse. Any suggestions on how to curb this behaviour??

I'll try anything!

[corvus]

You could try it this way: tie the dog up, sit next to her, but don't pat her. When another dog approaches, ignore her behaviour but put a calming hand on her and give her some gentle massage. When the other dog gets to you, give them both lots of love at the same time. Keep control of her all the time so she doesn't get a chance to go for the other dog. She'll snarl and carry on. When she does, turn your body away from her towards the other dog, but don't take your hand off her. When she quiets, turn your attention back to her and tell her how wonderful she is. I don't know if it would work, but it tends to mollify Penny when she's in a "My human!" state of mind. All she wants is attention, so as long as she's getting attention she'll let you pat the other dog. I can teach her that if she grumps at the other dog I'll get up and walk away. She learnt that pretty fast, but there's a limit to what she can handle and I have to be aware of that.

Or you could try giving her things to do when other dogs approach, like sit etc. If you can manage to get her focus off the dog and onto doing something for you, then that's a step in the right direction. She probably wouldn't down, though, as she'll be too agitated. I'd stick to easy things she likes doing. Tricks are great in these situations.

OR you could take a look at the book "Click to Calm". I have also heard "Control Unleashed" is very good and gives you ways to calm a very worked up dog.

[megan_]

I think that you need to consult a behaviorist asap. What you interpret as jealousy may be fear aggression, or some other cause. It can't be diagnosed over the net - you really need to see someone.

In terms of hurting other dogs, while you think your dog might not want to, other dogs might not tolerate him and try to put him in his place - and it can all end in tears.

[Tonymc]

MEU, jealousy is an emotion of the human world.

I certainly would not be tying the dog up and massaging it while you pay attention to another dog.Chances are high of reinforcing this behaviour by massaging the dog while in that state.

Tricks and sitting are really not the answer, as one has to consider where the dog is coming from.

MEU, firstly I would be having a good hard look at your management and leadership of your dog.Do's this dog see you as being leader, or do's this dog see itself as leader and is protecting, owning you? Tony

[corvus]

Everyone has a different approach to dogs so feel free to dismiss mine. I just wanted to point out that massage can in some cases treat the problem at its root by changing the way the dog feels. Not every case, but it's helped me out plenty of times. Dogs are emotional beings in the sense that they don't think things through when they are emotionally stimulated. Whether the dog is afraid, stressed, or jealous, it'll just react to that feeling. When you massage a dog the touch is often soothing and relaxing. A relaxed dog is less likely to feel stressed or jealous or whatever in the first place, and by massaging you can reduce those feelings to a manageable level even as they are being manifested in undesirable behaviour, and in turn, the undesirable behaviour fades, giving you an opportunity to get a foot in the door and train something else.

As an example, my sister has an undersized greyhound from rescue and she doesn't much like other dogs coming up to her and her people. Walking down the beach with her one day she just seemed to be screaming for reassurance. Next time a dog came bounding up I put my hand lightly on her back and said a few soothing words. It was enough to make her feel secure enough that she didn't need to chase the dog off with a snarl. If a dog came up to her and wanted to get close and stay a few moments, I would give her a little massage and she remained calm enough to keep her teeth hidden. Every time she doesn't use aggression to buy space is a step forwards as she learns aggression is not her only option. Sometimes all a dog needs is to know you're there and taking notice.

Then again, sometimes it's completely the wrong approach. You've really gotta know your dog.

[poodlefan]

It could be fear aggression, it could be resource guarding or a bunch of other behaviours.

Unless a trained professional sees you and your dog, you'll simply be guessing about what's going on. I suggest you get some professional assistance.

[MEU]

MEU, jealousy is an emotion of the human world.

I certainly would not be tying the dog up and massaging it while you pay attention to another dog.Chances are high of reinforcing this behaviour by massaging the dog while in that state.

Tricks and sitting are really not the answer, as one has to consider where the dog is coming from.

MEU, firstly I would be having a good hard look at your management and leadership of your dog.Do's this dog see you as being leader, or do's this dog see itself as leader and is protecting, owning you? Tony

Hi Tony

Thanks for your email. Yes you're right, jealousy is probably a human emotion but being a human thinker this was the best way to describe her behaviour (I think we all got the gist).

The reason I posted my query is to get as much feedback and as many suggestions as possible. I can read through and see which may or may not apply to how my dog reacts to different things etc but at this stage - yes I'll try the positive reinforcement suggestion, I'll look into consulting a behavioural expert and I'll also have a 'hard look' at myself with regard to my management and leadership - thanks for everyone's feedback so far!

[MEU]

You could try it this way: tie the dog up, sit next to her, but don't pat her. When another dog approaches, ignore her behaviour but put a calming hand on her and give her some gentle massage. When the other dog gets to you, give them both lots of love at the same time. Keep control of her all the time so she doesn't get a chance to go for the other dog. She'll snarl and carry on. When she does, turn your body away from her towards the other dog, but don't take your hand off her. When she quiets, turn your attention back to her and tell her how wonderful she is. I don't know if it would work, but it tends to mollify Penny when she's in a "My human!" state of mind. All she wants is attention, so as long as she's getting attention she'll let you pat the other dog. I can teach her that if she grumps at the other dog I'll get up and walk away. She learnt that pretty fast, but there's a limit to what she can handle and I have to be aware of that.

Or you could try giving her things to do when other dogs approach, like sit etc. If you can manage to get her focus off the dog and onto doing something for you, then that's a step in the right direction. She probably wouldn't down, though, as she'll be too agitated. I'd stick to easy things she likes doing. Tricks are great in these situations.

OR you could take a look at the book "Click to Calm". I have also heard "Control Unleashed" is very good and gives you ways to calm a very worked up dog.

Hi Corvus

Thanks, this sounds like a good place to start. As I said, I'll try anything and why not something as simple as this to see how she reacts!

Cheers

Michelle

[MEU]

I think that you need to consult a behaviorist asap. What you interpret as jealousy may be fear aggression, or some other cause. It can't be diagnosed over the net - you really need to see someone.

In terms of hurting other dogs, while you think your dog might not want to, other dogs might not tolerate him and try to put him in his place - and it can all end in tears.

Thanks Megan. I haven't done any research into fear aggression so might have a bit of a google on the subject. Yes, other dogs don't always tolerate it which is why I avoid the dog park - hate tears!

Cheers

Michelle

[Kavik]

There could be a number of factors, I also suggest you get someone in to see what is taking place.

I would avoid dog parks until you get it sorted, as others are not likely to be tolerant of her rushing at them, and that is antisocial behaviour in a dog park.

I also would NOT pat her while she is carrying on (massage can be interpreted as a pat by a dog) as this will reinforce her behaviour.

How is she on a lead with other dogs? Does she carry on from a distance? Does she like to visit other dogs or does she always act up?

[poodlefan]

MEU, the last thing I would recommend to anyone with an aggressive dog is to create situations where the dog becomes aggressive. It's unsafe for you, for your dog AND for the other dog.

Get professional help rather than experimenting. You could lmake matters worse.

[Toohey]

I'm really stuck as to what to do about my 2 year old cocker spaniels jealousy issues. She is highly jealous of other dogs 'talking' to me.

MEU just wondering, do you have other dogs? Does your cocker have to compete for your attention on a regular basis?

How much attention do you give her on a daily basis? I mean even little chats, or a pat on the head as you walk past her?

Do you believe she is secure in the knowledge that you love her?

A few years back when I was visiting our breeder with my two cockers, I was giving my boy a scratch behind the ear when my young girl came barrelling up to me and knocked him out the way! He sort of just shrugged and walked off.

His breeder was astounded at his reaction. She is USED to her cockers fighting for attention and getting growly at other dogs who try to muscle in on their cuddle/attention time!!!

My immediate response was "well, he knows I love him I guess, and is secure enough in that knowledge to not feel threatened or need to protect HIS resource from other dogs"

.... your post reminded me of that incident.

[MEU]

Hi Toohey

No I only have one dog but when mum and dad come to stay with their dog she's also very bossy - massively competing for ALL the attention even to the point where (occasionally) mum and dad aren't supposed to be talking to their own dog.

It's mainly just me and my dog (Saffy) at home most of the time and she follows me absolutely everywhere, constantly under my feet. She craves attention - if I move on the couch she's on her feet wondering what I'm doing. Hmm as I'm typing this it sounds a bit like separation anxiety could be an issue too?!?!

I'm also wondering whether some of her behaviour is to do with her breed. I know when she was a pup the vet told me I should get her well socialised early as she has known cockers to be a bit snappy?! (Trying not to stereotype )

[MEU]

There could be a number of factors, I also suggest you get someone in to see what is taking place.

I would avoid dog parks until you get it sorted, as others are not likely to be tolerant of her rushing at them, and that is antisocial behaviour in a dog park.

I also would NOT pat her while she is carrying on (massage can be interpreted as a pat by a dog) as this will reinforce her behaviour.

How is she on a lead with other dogs? Does she carry on from a distance? Does she like to visit other dogs or does she always act up?

Hi Kavik

She is worse when on a lead, she's even more protective I think. This is what I do (wrong or right I don't know?) I let her run around off the lead and she is fine to talk to other dogs if I'm not too close. She runs straight over to other dogs and is instantly on her belly in the submissive position. As soon as she's said hello she races back to me (which usually results in them following her) and that's when she starts barking and carrying on. I ignore her and walk in another direction and pretend I'm not interested which as I said, if I'm far enough away she plays okay but she always uses me as a base and doesn't let me out of her sight??

Michelle

[Toohey]

No I only have one dog but when mum and dad come to stay with their dog she's also very bossy - massively competing for ALL the attention even to the point where (occasionally) mum and dad aren't supposed to be talking to their own dog.

It's mainly just me and my dog (Saffy) at home most of the time and she follows me absolutely everywhere, constantly under my feet. She craves attention - if I move on the couch she's on her feet wondering what I'm doing. Hmm as I'm typing this it sounds a bit like separation anxiety could be an issue too?!?!

I'm also wondering whether some of her behaviour is to do with her breed. I know when she was a pup the vet told me I should get her well socialised early as she has known cockers to be a bit snappy?! (Trying not to stereotype )

Sadly, most vets have no idea of how a cocker should behave as they have met so few well bred ones.

The fact is that a cocker will walk all over you if you do not raise them with a firm and consistent hand. The more you tell us, the more I think this girl has been allowed to become a spoilt little princess???? Would I be right

You need to examine how you react to her when she is being clingy and demanding. Do you pander to her? Does she know the word NO?

I'd be giving this girl some "ignore" treatment. She needs a timeout place for when she misbehaves - unacceptable behaviour, put her in the laundry or a crate for a short period.

If she jumps on you up for attention, pretend she is not there and just go about your business until she settles and then praise her when she is quiet.

I would also suggest it imperative, you seek some advice from a qualified dog behaviouralist.

[MEU]

No I only have one dog but when mum and dad come to stay with their dog she's also very bossy - massively competing for ALL the attention even to the point where (occasionally) mum and dad aren't supposed to be talking to their own dog.

It's mainly just me and my dog (Saffy) at home most of the time and she follows me absolutely everywhere, constantly under my feet. She craves attention - if I move on the couch she's on her feet wondering what I'm doing. Hmm as I'm typing this it sounds a bit like separation anxiety could be an issue too?!?!

I'm also wondering whether some of her behaviour is to do with her breed. I know when she was a pup the vet told me I should get her well socialised early as she has known cockers to be a bit snappy?! (Trying not to stereotype )

Sadly, most vets have no idea of how a cocker should behave as they have met so few well bred ones.

The fact is that a cocker will walk all over you if you do not raise them with a firm and consistent hand. The more you tell us, the more I think this girl has been allowed to become a spoilt little princess???? Would I be right

You need to examine how you react to her when she is being clingy and demanding. Do you pander to her? Does she know the word NO?

I'd be giving this girl some "ignore" treatment. She needs a timeout place for when she misbehaves - unacceptable behaviour, put her in the laundry or a crate for a short period.

If she jumps on you up for attention, pretend she is not there and just go about your business until she settles and then praise her when she is quiet.

I would also suggest it imperative, you seek some advice from a qualified dog behaviouralist.

Hmm spoilt princess?? Hard to say really, I'll have to ask a third party for their point of view. She definitely knows 'no', she is very quiet around the house and if I'm lazing around then that's pretty much all she'll do too. She's not allowed on the couch or my bed etc. I wouldn't say she gets heaps of cuddles but she will get the odd hello pat if she comes to talk to me. She comes when I call her, she sits....and generally yes she does listen to me. She's spoilt in the fact that I take her in the car to the shop and she comes to visit people with me but I'm not sure whether that would effect her behaviour???

[Toohey]

Sorry MEU, I did not mean that in a derogatory way. I know I have couple of spoilt princesses, as it is so hard to not love 'em to death.

I really do think you need to get her assessed by somebody qualified, as her behaviour needs to be sorted.

Good luck with it

[MEU]

Sorry MEU, I did not mean that in a derogatory way. I know I have couple of spoilt princesses, as it is so hard to not love 'em to death.

I really do think you need to get her assessed by somebody qualified, as her behaviour needs to be sorted.

Good luck with it

Hahah no not taken the wrong way, I know what you mean.

Yep think it's time to call an expert. Now the real question - anyone know anyone good in Perth?

[yellowgirl]

Just a suggestion that worked for my own litle 'prince'. Chester had the same problem, jealousy of other dogs talking to me. I take a squirter water bottle with me to the park and if his manners slip around other dogs I give him a squirt and a reprimand 'ahhh, manners'. It's working really well and his manners are continuing to improve. He even lets other dogs sit on my lap now! I always give him a pat and praise for good behaviour and he seems to know my praise words 'good manners' which I say as soon as he comes over and acts appropriately. I prefer to use positive re-enforcement as much as possible, but the squirter bottle works beautifully as a reprimand/deterrent.

I'd be interested to know what other DOLers think about this method. By the way, I ONLY use water, never lemon juice, vinegar or other horrid irritants.

Jo

[megan_]

Just a suggestion that worked for my own litle 'prince'. Chester had the same problem, jealousy of other dogs talking to me. I take a squirter water bottle with me to the park and if his manners slip around other dogs I give him a squirt and a reprimand 'ahhh, manners'. It's working really well and his manners are continuing to improve. He even lets other dogs sit on my lap now! I always give him a pat and praise for good behaviour and he seems to know my praise words 'good manners' which I say as soon as he comes over and acts appropriately. I prefer to use positive re-enforcement as much as possible, but the squirter bottle works beautifully as a reprimand/deterrent.

I'd be interested to know what other DOLers think about this method. By the way, I ONLY use water, never lemon juice, vinegar or other horrid irritants.

Jo

Never done this myself. I suggest finding out what is causing the issue first (via the behaviorist). If it is fear aggression driving the behavior, this could make it worse?

To the OP - the behaviorist works with both the dog and you - so they should be able to look at your leadership and help you determine what you need to change (because, 9/10, it is us making the mistakes, not the dogs!).