Georgie-boy Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 OK - I've got 30m of fishing line, 2.5kg of blue tac, one red 8 liter bucket, a pile of old newspapers, 7 VB stubbies (5 empty, 2 full), 4 skyhooks, a left handed screw driver, a welding kit and a bucket of sparks, a 1989 Oxford English dictionary, 1 chicken breast fillet and a box of thumbtacks.Oh and a motion detecting webcam. Ideas? Ok now what you need to do is, hang the chicken breast fillet from the roof with the fishing line and skyhooks to entice your dog up and on to the bench so you can catch him in the act and effectively punish him, break the VB stubbies and stick them to the bench with bluetac (just like businesses do with glass bottles on top of there brick fences in areas such as redfern) this will no doubt be uncomfortable under your dogs feet. When you dog jumps up and on to the bench you have to immediately run out of the next room banging the old newspapers against the bucket whilst you yell at you dog with a whole new bunch of swear words that you have learned from the oxford dictionary. You should have created an appropriate tripod to hold the motion detecting camera in place to catch this priceless moment so you can post the video on dol, the left handed screw driver – bucket of sparks and thumbtacks are totally unnecessary and will no doubt offend many of the purely positive dog trainers who frequent dol. There are many more great methods of dog training similar to this mentioned in the Koehler Method of Dog Training which I suggest you purchase and read. Good luck and I look forward to the video. Oh dear...I know this is for all intents & purposes a thread for serious suggestions but this has to be one of the funniest threads I have read and this post in particular had me in stitches! Good luck Luke - I have nothing helpful to add - I'm just coming in for the giggles! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogon Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 This thread is gold. I'm so looking forward to my cocker boy becoming as mischievous as Barkly - NOT!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravyk Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 i was directed to this thread because of a similar problem [though my dog is just plain jumping onto the bench] but all this has achieved is a fit of giggles and no solution!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandgrubber Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 out of curiosity, is keeping dog off the counter considered a dog sport my little devil doesn't get on the counter . . . she just takes knives and spatulas off of it and takes them into the garden for proper cleaning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 So, Luke... I hope the injuries have healed, the cardboard and cellophane are back where they belong, and that you now have the video camera working!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulesP Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Not very 'positive' but you might enjoy zapping him right about now - http://www.innotek.com.au/products/pet-proofing-barriers I admit I enjoy squirting the cats with water if they are being really naughty!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke W Posted January 19, 2009 Author Share Posted January 19, 2009 (edited) So, Luke... I hope the injuries have healed, the cardboard and cellophane are back where they belong, and that you now have the video camera working!!!! Yeah, the hand is much better now. After the last disaster, which I've realised was the result of poor planning, I've decided to create some drawing and mockups. I've taken photos of all my bits and peices and I'm started to shuffle things around looking for the best plan. The bucket of sparks isn't pictured because I don't want to touch it until I have to. Edited January 19, 2009 by Luke W Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claireybell Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Ahahahaha There's no way my gorgeous Barkly is that naughty! You photo shopped didn't you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke W Posted January 19, 2009 Author Share Posted January 19, 2009 That's really him and he's really standing on my kitchen bench. Couch (also known as bench access ramp) in foreground Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Spotted Devil Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 That's really him and he's really standing on my kitchen bench. Couch (also known as bench access ramp) in foreground OMG ;) The little bu88er!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~*Shell*~ Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Lol - i find it effective to yell "argh!" from where ever i am in the house when Zero is doing something naughty (like taunting the cat) - he knows what it means! As for Barkley, well he's just too darn cute to yell at... I think you should just resign yourself to having your dishes "cleaned" by a gorgeous black and white dog. Fail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam&Saki Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 LOL I want to see more cunning plans devised with the tools supplied!!! & then I shall buy said contraption from Luke to use on Saki, who is big enough to counter surf without needing any access ramps The only thing I can come up with is to leave the chicken breast on the bench as the dogs won't bother going for human food when there's a raw chicken breast on offer... Or grab a bed sheet and the hooks and make a hammock hanging over the kitchen bench, from which you can drink the beer and push the dog off the counter every time it jumps on... Or roll the giant ball of bluetac for the dog to chase, which it will then try to pick up, find its jaws and all its teeth firmly implanted into said ball and will be unable to use said evil teeth to devour stolen treats from said bench counter, negating all and any need for said dog to climb on said kitchen bench as said in the first place. Said. Yep *nods* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgie-boy Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 *snort* Awww Barkly is so cuuuute! Although as far as camouflage goes - he is failing miserably! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonElite Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 In my opionion you have too many things there. I would give the chicken filet to the dog, get the beers, and consume them while on the sofa. I would give the fishing line and the bucket to OH . the rest of the stuff is useless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke W Posted January 19, 2009 Author Share Posted January 19, 2009 *snort* Awww Barkly is so cuuuute! Although as far as camouflage goes - he is failing miserably! It's the pink tongue that's a giveaway, isn't it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jigsaw Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Train Barkly to fetch the beer for you! He could also cook the chicken in the microwave and when you're in your hammock he could push it for you! Um though couldn't you try and tape a barrier to your bench, like a cardboard box around the edges, now we can see a pic of it? You could put bells on it so you know when he is trying to get up there! He is so very cute though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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