What Have I Done!

[dee lee]

Rob, I agree with Ojay.

I have a very similar story to yours.

Last year I got a pup, thinking that my family would benefit form it and enjoy it as much as I had as a kid.

I didnt listen to my husband when he told me he didnt want a dog, I thought he'd get over it- especially when he gave in to the kids requests (emotional blackmail on my part!).

The first few months were hell- much the same as you are describing plus a massive strain on our marriage. and my Oh refused to help at all which was his way of punishing me. Eventually we had a BIG emotional heart to heart and cleared the air.

We decided the dog is my responsibility, but he will feed it when I am not home and help out if I ask. It was sad, there went my family dog dream, but life goes on.

I dont think it is necessary to rehome the dog- she will (hopefully) improve with lots of training, if your wife wont help out with that try to get the kids involved. BUT you do need to have a big talk, understand that she may have some issues and be open and listen to her.

My life has settled somewhat (dog has issues, not OH now ) and I suspect that the dog is slowly winning over the family (though like yours, my kids would rather have a poodle ). I hope the same will happen to you. Good luck.

[Dogsfevr]

"It may in everyone's best interests if this puppy is rehomed. (runs off to don flame suit)"

Dont run i think that is the best solution & too & personally i would be doing it whilst the family are away/

It isnt about the training or the pup being a pup is about a family where all members couldnt deal with the golden & certainly arent willing to deal with a GSD pup.

Kids who are scared arent going to come around or even be involved in the crucial aspects of what this pup needs.A wife who isnt interested again will not play any part in the crucial needs of a dog.

A dog is for the whole family & i can see things getting worse not better

[Partipaws]

Hi Rob,

I agree with most in that you must try to get your family involved, if they agree on keeping the dog that is.

The reason I say this is when you look at dog behavior a dog lives in a pack in the wild, a pet dog will look at your family as being the pack and it is very important that you state your dogs position at the bottom of the pack! this sounds terrible I know, however by doing this should continue to correct behavioral issues that you will encounter throughout its life. Which is why it is most important that your family becomes involved right away!!

If your wife and kids refuse to work with you in training your dog, and continue to be scared, this dog will walk all over them. It may respect you, but it wont to them. I have seen situations where a pet dog knew one of the kids in the family was nervous around him and he picked on this kid, poo on his bed, bit him and bullied him, it only took a couple of days for someone to show the boy how to stand up for himself and how to show the dog that the ranks had changed to include him at the bottom, this of course correct most of all the behavioral problems directed at the kid.

My partner got a boxer puppy years ago when we were not living together. The dog was never taught who was boss, and pretty much did what he pleased, including cocking his leg inside, chewing on people, jumping up on people, chewing up furniture, toys, hoses, plants, didn't listen to any commands though he knew what to do, he was a real S#!T (excuse my french)

So I really had my work cut out for me when we moved in together! All he needed was to be shown who was boss and that he was last in our pack, doesn't mean we loved him any less, he has quietened down a hell of lot now, less destructive and has turned out to be quite nice dog, but even after 6 months I have had to show him a lot of rights and wrongs, as he was never shown this.

Puppy stage is very important in creating a well adjusted well socialised dog and most important of all an important part of the family.

So yes getting some professional advise and training will be great for you, but drag the family a long, they need to build up some confidence!

Good luck Rob.

Regards,

Jess.

[Monah]

Nothing else to say that hasn't already been said. It's just all very sad, for all of you, I'm sorry.

I hope things work out one way or another xxx

[Jigsaw]

To some extent I've been there too. My OH didn't want a dog and caused some friction early on especially with her nipping jumping behaviour which was pretty extreme. I had to go away for a week and she was too young to kennel so OH had to look after her. Left him with detailed instructions and when I came back he was suddenly calling her "my dog" and he defends her now to all! But that's my happy ending it doesn't work out that way for everyone.

All the previous tips are worth following up. Get her to puppy preschool. Most vets wash down, disinfect rooms where puppy preschool will be, there's always some risk, but a bigger risk is no socialisation.

Would your wife and kids be happy to meet with someone else, a trainer perhaps, who would explain this to them. Even getting them to go and watch a puppy class (without your puppy) might let them know that your pup is not any different. Show your wife some articles on puppy raising. She is probably a big pup so maybe the dream of a cute cuddly pup has been dispelled and they think they have the horror dog from hell. It sounds like you have certainly put the right foot forward with the crate and pen. Would your kids be interested in helping to train? Has your wife's attitude influenced the kids attitude to the puppy or vice versa? I think it's going to have to come down to being open and honest with your wife about how you feel about having a dog and how it makes you feel about her not wanting a dog. If you're going to keep the pup I'm afraid it has to be all in, you need her help as part of the team.

[Gayle.]

s a after thought, one of our best friends in Perth has a beautiful female GSD that was well trained and my wife and children absolutely adored. The same as meeting the sire and dam when visiting our breeder.

Maybe an adult dog would have been a wiser choice. Not as cute, but past the destructive, piddling, jumping baby stage.

From what you've written and the lack of experience your family has with dogs, a GSD probably would have been fairly low on my list of dogs suitable for your family. A small dog might have been better....or at least smaller than a GSD or Golden Retriever. Not all small dogs are "yappy". Some big dogs are though.

[SamanthaGSD]

Thank you all for your forthright and honest replies. No flame suits are necessary

I sat down with my wife and children today and explained what will be required to keep samantha and for all us to enjoy her and enjoy her companionship. My wife explained that she was terrorised by a dog when she was young, hence her misgivings.

We are all going to puppy school on Saturday, a 5 week course. I had a in depth chat with the instructor explaining our position. He was very keen to help and see it through for all concerned. In fact I might get called into work Saturday, my wife said that she would be happy to take samantha to the first class if I cant make it!

I spoke with my breeder, she suggested a few things as well as a book which I have ordered. As I mentioned in my previous post, I have just finished reading "Marley and Me" and my wife has just started to read it...........

Hopefully with a lot of hard work, discipline and love/affection from the whole family we can/will get through this.

Thank you all so much for your considerations and help.

Kind regards,

Rob

[Partipaws]

Thats great news....

I wish you and your family the very best.... keep possitive and it shall all work out for you.

[Jigsaw]

Good to hear things are looking brighter! I found out too after a heart to heart with my OH that he had been terrified of the dog next door when he grew up, which was a neglected GSD which was highly territorial, so no retrieving those tennis balls over the fence.

[Sezy]

Thank you all for your forthright and honest replies. No flame suits are necessary

I sat down with my wife and children today and explained what will be required to keep samantha and for all us to enjoy her and enjoy her companionship. My wife explained that she was terrorised by a dog when she was young, hence her misgivings.

We are all going to puppy school on Saturday, a 5 week course. I had a in depth chat with the instructor explaining our position. He was very keen to help and see it through for all concerned. In fact I might get called into work Saturday, my wife said that she would be happy to take samantha to the first class if I cant make it!

I spoke with my breeder, she suggested a few things as well as a book which I have ordered. As I mentioned in my previous post, I have just finished reading "Marley and Me" and my wife has just started to read it...........

Hopefully with a lot of hard work, discipline and love/affection from the whole family we can/will get through this.

Thank you all so much for your considerations and help.

Kind regards,

Rob

It sounds like things are moving in the right direction for you!! I hope it keeps going that way for you.

Best of luck.

[Poodle wrangler]

In the first post, you've only had the dog for a week- it's really early days.

I love dogs and even I occasionally thought, "What have I done?" when our dog (then pup) peed, poohed and vomited in the house.

I should add the vomiting was only once and toilet training is all sorted within weeks if you all put in the hard work. If you can't supervise the dog, the dog goes outside where it can wee/poo wherever.

Poodle puppies have sharp teeth, too .

The teeth on my big poodle are almost as big as a GSD's too.

[Working Dog Lover]

What a neat thread!! This epitomises what I really enjoy about this forum. Someone has a problem and asks for help, there are many different replies, but all thoughtfully and considerately given, and the outcome is that there may be another family who are all going to enjoy the pleasure a dog can bring. For some reason, this thread really gave me a buzz. Or, maybe it's the Shiraz Well done, all, and Rob, I hope things continue to go well for you.

Audrey

[ish]

I'm really glad to hear things are looking up - best of luck with puppy preschool and keep us updated on how things go with Samantha

[Kavik]

I think we all do the OMG what have I done! at some stage - I certainly did with Kaos as a pup - he was a little bugger! But we did a lot of work and now he is great fun, fast and keen, and we have just started agility trialling

[charli73]

Rob,

There have been some great honest replies, I think you have some great opinions everyone..

here is mine..

We got our first dog 11 months ago, a GSD as my husband and I always wanted one.. So many times I freaked out, cried and wanted to take her back just as I didnt realise how much time, work and patience was involved to help train and love the perfect little destructive monster...My husband said he would support my decision whatever I wanted to do..

Now she is 13 months although she drives me insane sometimes I just am so glad we got her... I just LOVE her to bits and am very proud of the work we have put in to train and socialise her...

It was damn hard work, and we chose a breed that prob wasnt the easiest first off, but the reward is her..

I really hope your wife can get into training her, it willl get more fun maybe once she starts to see the results... Im sure 'Marley and me' will make her shed a tear....

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do..

Edited July 2, 2008 by charli73

[ness]

Yep definitely had the OMG what have I done moment or three - especially when my older girl started acting up and looking very depressed. Its been nearly a month since my little BC baby joined us and its starting to settle I think. Her enthusiasm for life is just priceless .

Edited July 3, 2008 by ness

[SamanthaGSD]

Thanks Guys and Girls.

Yes the web can be a wonderful place, especially on a forum such as this where you have many like minded individuals sharing the same values of owning and having a dog or new family member as I like to call Samantha.

"what have I done" was not in any way saying that I had any regrets in getting Sam at all. I have had puppies when I was a child and fully expected what is required. I think my wife and kids thought that it would be 'easier'. In saying that Sam is already learning very fast, is already toilet trained, sits and comes on command, ALL in 1 week!! Sam is a very happy and smart puppy, I am blessed for that.

The only "issue" we have at the moment is the play biting. She responds to the "NO" command about 50% of the time, so it is improving. I really want to fix that problem, as she doesnt realise just how sharp those little teeth are! Boy do they hurt.

We gave her a raw bone to chew on yesterday which she loved. Today I got her a chicken frame(raw) which she absolutely enjoyed!

We are all really looking forward to puppy school, cant wait.

Rob

[Gretel]

This might sound silly but have you tried putting Aerogard on so she won't like the taste and it may help curb the biting.

[Luke W]

Thanks Guys and Girls.

Yes the web can be a wonderful place, especially on a forum such as this where you have many like minded individuals sharing the same values of owning and having a dog or new family member as I like to call Samantha.

"what have I done" was not in any way saying that I had any regrets in getting Sam at all. I have had puppies when I was a child and fully expected what is required. I think my wife and kids thought that it would be 'easier'. In saying that Sam is already learning very fast, is already toilet trained, sits and comes on command, ALL in 1 week!! Sam is a very happy and smart puppy, I am blessed for that.

The only "issue" we have at the moment is the play biting. She responds to the "NO" command about 50% of the time, so it is improving. I really want to fix that problem, as she doesnt realise just how sharp those little teeth are! Boy do they hurt.

We gave her a raw bone to chew on yesterday which she loved. Today I got her a chicken frame(raw) which she absolutely enjoyed!

We are all really looking forward to puppy school, cant wait.

Rob

I would give up the "NO" command. You will make the dog immune to "NO" and you're giving it the attention it wants. Negative attention is often more satisfying than no attention at all. Stand up, turn your back on the dog.

[Cosmolo]

Good on you for putting in the effort- hoping everything works out well for you, the family and Samantha.

While ignoring mouthing in some cases can work, more often than not (particularly with larger more persistent pups) it can increase the intensity of the mouthing before it lessens which i would not recommend for this (and many other) situation due to your wife and children's apprehension.

I would instead consider some kind of immediate correction, either using her collar, water spray, loud noise, lead correction etc and then hold her in a sitting position until she settles. You are likely to get a few tantrums but better to work through those now than when she is fully grown. Set up the mouthing rather than waiting for her to do it so you can ensure you are in the best position possible to deal with it. When you set up the situations where she would normally mouth and she doesn't, she then needs to get a jackpot reward- multiple treats, verbal praise etc!!