How Do You Know When Their Time Is Up?

[BIG-DOG-LOVER]

Not a pleasant topic at all, and I wasn't going to post this but I've been thinking about it all morning so would love some feedback.

Our dog is getting on and she's had probs with her joints (posted about that in another thread), she's gotten better with this over the last few weeks with the help of some glucosamine and making her bed comfier for her, but there seem to be more and more 'signs' that she's not as well as she used to be.

I wonder when you 'know' their time is up, and do you make the decision for them or let nature take it's course?

Along with the joint problems she has been a lot sleepier than usual and doesn't hear us when we get home anymore, or maybe she does hear us but can't be bothered getting up to greet us

She's had some loss of bowel control, looks like she hasn't made it to the lawn area sometimes and 'evidence' is left on the paved area. She's been farting lots lately too

I guess I just need some reassurance that she is ok and that it's a normal part of ageing, I mean her 'symptoms' are like any elderly human so I guess it's the same for dogs, but how do you know when enough is enough?

Thanks

BDL

[persephone]

Each dog/relationship is different.

With my old Mitch, some years ago- at age 12,he was still mostly bright, hungry and tail-wagging

BUT

he had many growths under the skin, and these had multiplied-

had more than a few cases of bowel incontinence over a week or so- when he would get so embarrassed

he was sore in his joints- and just not himself.

I made the decision, he had a bath, and went over the bridge with thoughts of rabbits in his head, and tail wagging.

When you think she is finding life more of a struggle than a game-

When she needs help for the simple things

When she starts to 'close down', and not join in,

then have a hard think.

I would never leave things to mother nature--- not if it involved pain, incontinence and confusion, or starvation....

[Miss Helena]

I would never leave things to mother nature--- not if it involved pain, incontinence and confusion, or starvation....

A very sad thing to have to contemplate Big-Dog-Lover...I dread this happening with my girl (she's only 2, so hopefully it is eons away).

Well said persephone! At least we have the humane option for our beloved pets. I've seen a close family member pass away from cancer and the bolded description above was exactly how her last month was - absolute hell.

I think when our pets are starting to suffer, life is no longer worth living, and you are sure the situation won't improve, that is a good time to consider the options...

[Guest Pandii]

Every dog is different, you will know when it is time to say goodbye.

My Ishka got sick on Thursday, Sunday I was ready to say goodbye, that death smell was around, Monday she went.

You will know when its time

[BIG-DOG-LOVER]

Each dog/relationship is different.

With my old Mitch, some years ago- at age 12,he was still mostly bright, hungry and tail-wagging

BUT

he had many growths under the skin, and these had multiplied-

had more than a few cases of bowel incontinence over a week or so- when he would get so embarrassed

he was sore in his joints- and just not himself.

I made the decision, he had a bath, and went over the bridge with thoughts of rabbits in his head, and tail wagging.

When you think she is finding life more of a struggle than a game-

When she needs help for the simple things

When she starts to 'close down', and not join in,

then have a hard think.

I would never leave things to mother nature--- not if it involved pain, incontinence and confusion, or starvation....

Thanks Persephone you said that so well.....

I think the time is coming, but I am so dreading it, the kids are going to be so sad

You are right re the 'close down' statement, she's been ok but you can tell she's just not interested in things as much as she used to be.

Ugh I need to think, thanks all for your words.

[Kirty]

I think you will know. They will look at you and you will see it in her eyes.

As long as she is not in pain or upset, there is no reason to rush the decision. My mum's dog is 17 and going senile. She has growths all over her (which are not cancerous), has arthritis, is deaf and going blind. But she seems happy enough. She is not suffering at all.

[dogbesotted]

somehow you seem to just know.... with all my dogs they have given me a "look" that just says it all.

It is never ever easy but you know in your heart it is the right time.

H

[cavanova]

Every dog is different, you will know when it is time to say goodbye.

My Ishka got sick on Thursday, Sunday I was ready to say goodbye, that death smell was around, Monday she went.

You will know when its time

Yes you will know when it's time.

They will look at you and you will see it in there eyes.

We had to say goodbye to our Maltese a few weeks ago

[StaceyB]

I'm sorry you are having to contemplate this with your girl.

I think you just know in your heart when it is time to let them go.

[wolfgirl]

Sorry to hear you need to start thinking about this and I agree with the others, you just know it's like an inbuilt feeling and the sparkle goes out of their eyes, our pets just don't live long enough

[cowanbree]

While I would agree with the others is saying you will know when it is time I will also say it is completely normal for a dog to age. Oldies spend more time asleep, don’t hear or see as well and generally are not as vibrant as when they are young but that doesn’t mean they are suffering, just that their life has changed and they now enjoy different things. Instead of a romp at the park my oldies prefer a cuddle in front of a TV followed by a leisurely stroll. As long as they have more good days than bad and are enjoying life that is what counts

[oceanaussi]

This post made me cry. My old girl is 9 now and I can see the signs of age on her. She's far less tolerant of things, doesn't pay that much attention anymore, doesn't want to play, doesn't hear me when I come home, has problems in her joints ect. And everytime when I think "Should I take her to the Vet to check her out?", she plays with the pup, her ball, enjoys the flyball training and begs for food. I know her time hasn't come yet but just thinking that it will, fills me with dread.

My old Vet in Germany once said to me: "There will be three days in the life of your dog - you will never ever forget. First, the day when you get him/her; second the day where you realise he/she is getting old and third when he/she goes over the bridge." It's so true!!!!

[Monah]

Oh what a shame. Have you had a thorough vet check?? I've made a mistake twice with aging dogs. Once with a Lakeland, I though he was eating on one side of his mouth and walking crookedly because of age (12) but then he lost his bark and I thought, something's not right (obviously), he had a brain tumour!!! Lasted another 2 weeks. I had no idea.

Then, recently, my old acd (14) has had bowel and bladder issues, pooing without feeling the need, even in the car! and weeing or trying to every hour or so. Put it down to 'old age' or infection. had lots of meds etc. then did an xray, low and behold, rocks (not stones, bloody great rocks!!) in her bladder. Had them removed a few days ago, she is perfect!!!! No poo problems (her bowel was slightly obstructed by the 'rocks' (I've kept them) no wee problems, she;s like a new woman!!! All young and happy again.

So I guess I'm just saying, have a complete check before you make any decisions, sometimes it's not what you think. I do believe however that no animal should suffer if the end is inevitable. Good luck. I really thought I'd have to make a decision a week ago, lucky for me we have a bit longer now

PS she sleeps around 21 hours a day!!! Normal

[Staffyluv]

Monah, I have an 11 year old that sleeps for most of the day as well..

My boy has cancer and there have been a couple of times that I thought I was taking him for his last ride to the vets but he has proved me wrong on more than one occasion.

I do think that I will really know when the time really comes.

[Miss B]

When the suffering in their life outweighs the happiness, you know it's time. And as hard as it is to make that decision, it is better to send them over the bridge with dignity than allow them to suffer until nature takes it's course.

*hugs*

All the best with your girl.

[kamuzz]

My old Vet in Germany once said to me: "There will be three days in the life of your dog - you will never ever forget. First, the day when you get him/her; second the day where you realise he/she is getting old and third when he/she goes over the bridge." It's so true!!!!

That is a quote, here is the whole thing

The Fourth Day

by Martin Scot Kosins

If you ever love an animal, there are three days in your life you will always remember . . . The first is a day, blessed with happiness, when you bring home your young new friend. You may have spent weeks deciding on a breed. You may have asked numerous opinions of many vets, or done long research in finding a breeder. Or, perhaps in a fleeting moment, you may have just chosen that silly looking mutt in a shelter -- simply because something in its eyes reached your heart. But when you bring that chosen pet home, and watch it explore, and claim its special place in your hall or front room -- and when you feel it brush against you for the first time -- it instils a feeling of pure love you will carry with you through the many years to come.

The second day will occur eight or nine or ten years later. It will be a day like any other. Routine and unexceptional. But, for a surprising instant, you will look at your longtime friend and see age where you once saw youth. You will see slow deliberate steps where you once saw energy. And you will see sleep when you once saw activity. So you will begin to adjust your friend's diet -- and you may add a pill or two to her food. And you may feel a growing fear deep within yourself, which bodes of a coming emptiness. And you will feel this uneasy feeling, on and off, until the third day finally arrives.

And on this day -- if your friend and whatever higher being you believe in have not decided for you, then you will be faced with making a decision of your own -- on behalf of your lifelong friend, and with the guidance of your own deepest Spirit. But whichever way your friend eventually leaves you -- you will feel as alone as a single star in the dark night.

If you are wise, you will let the tears flow as freely and as often as they must. And if you are typical, you will find that not many in your circle of family or friends will be able to understand your grief, or comfort you. But if you are true to the love of the pet you cherished through the many joy-filled years, you may find that a soul -- a bit smaller in size than your own -- seems to walk with you, at times, during the lonely days to come.

And at moments when you least expect anything out of the ordinary to happen, you may feel something brush against your leg -- very very lightly. And looking down at the place where your dear, perhaps dearest, friend used to lie you will remember those three significant days. The memory will most likely to be painful, and leave an ache in your heart. As time passes the ache will come and go as if it has a life of its own. You will both reject it, and it may confuse you. If you reject it, it will depress you. If you embrace it, it will deepen you. Either way, it will still be an ache.

But there will be, I assure you, a fourth day when -- along with the memory of your pet -- and piercing through the heaviness in your heart -- there will come a realization that belongs only to you. It will be as unique and strong as our relationship with each animal we have loved, and lost. This realization takes the form of a Living Love -- like the heavenly scent of a rose that remains after the petals have wilted, this Love will remain and grow -- and be there for us to remember. It is a love we have earned. It is the legacy our pets leave us when they go. And it is a gift we may keep with us as long as we live. It is a Love which is ours alone. And until we ourselves leave, perhaps to join our Beloved Pets it is a Love we will always possess.

[oceanaussi]

I didn't know it was a quote! Thanks for making me cry again, Kamuzz...

[WalandLibby]

At a certain point, they develop this inward-looking expression which is what I've used to judge when it was time - when they stop seeing what's in front of them, and are preoccupied with their inward experience. I think Ted Hughes refers to this (but maybe I only want him to) when he talks about dying animals 'managing a difficulty far greater' than what's going on in front of them.

I think pain has to be pretty severe before they'd rather not be alive than experience it. But that said, it's a deeply personal decision.

Edited June 18, 2008 by WalandLibby

[oze50]

When the time comes ( you will know the right time instinctively) I take the dogs myself and hold them close to my heart while the vet does the deed and I rarely can tell the moment when their life ends, it has always been a very peaceful passing so dont worry about doing the kind thing, you will be very glad you did it for your beloved pet. I took my dogs home wrapped in a rug, the children came and saw the dog in the car and they just looked asleep, then my OH would take them out the back and bury them. Later the kids made a little cross etc for the grave. We have 9 buried out there! Pity the poor people who one day buy our house, they will think we sacrificed all these poor animals and buried them in their favourite blankey! :D (Oh they all died over a period of 30 years, not at the same time lol)

Thanks Persephone you said that so well.....

I think the time is coming, but I am so dreading it, the kids are going to be so sad

You are right re the 'close down' statement, she's been ok but you can tell she's just not interested in things as much as she used to be.

Ugh I need to think, thanks all for your words.