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Why Won't She Come To Us?


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Sophie is 11 months old and we love her to bits, but there is one problem. When we call her she comes running up and just touches our hand with her nose or licks, but if we try to pat her or pick her up she runs away. She has always been like this and it makes things difficult if we need to pick her up. She loves her walk and when we get her lead out she goes mad, but will not be picked up to put it on.

She jumps up on my husbands knee and loves a cuddle. She sleeps in her bed beside me when on the computer and I give her a pat and scratch her belly, much to her delight. She sleeps with us and there is no problem patting her then. She really enjoys it.

Any ideas on how to remedy this problem.

Thanks.

Moggy.

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She stands on hind legs when we give her a treat. We can't get near her to put her harness on, that is the trouble. She just comes up and puts her nose on our hand when we reach out, but then if we try to get closer she runs away. She hasn't been hurt or anything like that. I don't like to just grab her because it will make her more disinclined to come to us.

I have never known a dog to do this. Also she doesn't get many treats as she is inclined to be on the tubby side. But if I knew how to train her to stay by giving her treats I would try it.

Moggy.

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Why do you need to pick her up? She obviously doesn't like it which is probably why she runs away from you. It's not necessary to pick dogs up, if she were a bigger breed you wouldn't be able to pick her up because she'd be too heavy. Regarding the harness, she probably doesn't like it, it's very hard to get a harness that fits properly and a lot of them irritate and chafe the dogs. Try walking her on a flat collar or a martingale.

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Millie (tiny girl, about 3kg) does this too. It's very frustrating, because she loves cuddles so much and it's quite a way for us to travel to the ground! She has just always done this, ever since she was a puppy. Weird.

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there is obviously something she doesn't like about either being picked up, or putting the collar on... it is also all on her terms with regards to when she has the lead put on or when she wants a pat.

Perhaps you could work on getting her to come to you, sitting, treating, then eventually a sit, pat, treat.

If she comes up to you for a pat without being called, do you pat her?

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Tansy that is the whole problem. It is not about picking her up all the time. Usually a dog will come to you and you can pat it. She comes to us just close enough for her to touch our hand with her nose, or lick our hand. When we try to pat her she pulls away.

When she is in her bed, our bed or on my husband's knee, we can pick her up, pat her and cuddle her.

When I have been out and arrive home she runs up all excited to see me, but when I put my hand out to pat her she just "noses" it or licks it and then runs off. I can't get any closer to pat her.

Moggy.

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Could it be that you call her to you and pick her up to 'end her fun' (from her pov) ???

Avoid always ending a happy run session with one recall. Do plenty of recalls in between times and 'release' her so she may return to what she's been doing.

The 'smelling' or 'licking your hand' sounds to me as though she's used to receiving a treat. Is that a correct assumption?

Reward her for the recall with something she likes to do (or eat). To overcome the problem you have, initially work on a consistent schedule of reinforcement. But once the recalls are happening reliably, switch to an intermittent schedule of reinforcement ..... gradually increasing the number of times you don't treat her compared to the number of times you do.

As others have said, perhaps back off on always picking her up.

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Hmmm..

when she is in YOUR space- she has taken over, and is happy to get attention ;)On HER terms!

When you want her to 'do' something- she won't!

Simple really- :( :(

She needs to learn that bed/couch/ lap time is on YOUR terms, now- and to get these privileges, she needs to come/sit, and listen to you.

I would suggest that any food she gets, or praise, or pats is ONLY given when she obeys you- even if it is just a sit (not a stand up or beg), or to come to you, and LOOK at you :eek:

Just do this many times a day- don't try and pick her up, or anything - just get her to simply approach you, then wait until you praise/ treat her.

Gradually then, you can do more...

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  moggy said:
Also she doesn't get many treats as she is inclined to be on the tubby side.

This bit's easy. Either cut down her food to balance out the amount of treats you're giving. Or just have her work for all (or most) of her food.

If she likes to play with toys and/or tuggies, then this can be the reward instead of treats some of the time. Tuggy provides good exercise too (for both parties! :eek:

Edited by Tassie
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