havahug Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Ill just add my OH doesnt help me one bit.., He wont cuddle them, or take them out to the toilet, Men are lazy haha well mine can be.. i get sick and tired of pickin up after him My mother always tells me... You are better of doing things yourself!! My OH works away, only home on weekends IF that.. What he dont know yet is im going to add other to the family soon Edit to add.. He also said no dogs inside or on the bed ;) That went out the window when we brought them haha Oh my god that sounds like my OH. He said no dogs in the house too but we now have 3 in the bed and have had 5 Adults and 7 puppies in the bed But I must say he works away too but on his 7 days off he puts everyone out in the morning so I can sleep in, so sweet of him, he also feeds them all too and shares cuddles. I might even get him back into showing again but he swears he will not show a fluffy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeamSnag Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Ill just add my OH doesnt help me one bit.., He wont cuddle them, or take them out to the toilet, Men are lazy haha well mine can be.. i get sick and tired of pickin up after him My mother always tells me... You are better of doing things yourself!! My OH works away, only home on weekends IF that.. What he dont know yet is im going to add other to the family soon Edit to add.. He also said no dogs inside or on the bed ;) That went out the window when we brought them haha Oh my god that sounds like my OH. He said no dogs in the house too but we now have 3 in the bed and have had 5 Adults and 7 puppies in the bed But I must say he works away too but on his 7 days off he puts everyone out in the morning so I can sleep in, so sweet of him, he also feeds them all too and shares cuddles. I might even get him back into showing again but he swears he will not show a fluffy A fluff My OH only some times has weekends off lol.. but when he is home he has to fight for bed haha... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey9 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 (edited) I'm getting a pup in a few weeks, and so have made sure we are both in agreement about doggy house rules and sharing time and financial commitments from the word go.... I've made it clear to him that he doesn't get puppy cuddles for free - if he wants to share the good bit of having a pet, then he needs to help out with the other parts too. He's pretty good at helping out with caring for my other pets if I ask him to help so hopefully it works out! Edited June 18, 2008 by Bailey9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bjelkier Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 My OH is wonderful about all my animals, when we got our newest pup it was a joint decision. He does insist I do all the training but I am happy with that as his training method is terrible! Other then that he helps with everything. But we have been together for a long time now and have got a good understanding with each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dee lee Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Be thankful he likes the dog! My OH constantly bitches about our dog- never wanted her, blah blah blah... But he will feed her when Im not home and has defended her when Ive been frustrated by her. No poo picking up though!! I think you have some issues unrelated to the dog, if you are talking about marriage maybe it is time for joint bank accounts? Maybe you need to tell him you dont like being ordered about? maybe things need to change.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam&Saki Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Perhaps one way to look at it is: It's your dog, so you pay all the bills, you take care of it - this also means you get to make all the decisions about it's care, training, where it's allowed, etc - it's not his call because it's not his dog, it's YOUR dog. Plus then if you break up one day down the track there'll be no custody battle - how devastated would you feel if he paid half the bills but then wanted to keep your dog? (Perhaps I'm just nasty and jealous, my dog is MY DOG only, mine mine mine! Any potential boy toys need to know they'd be second to my dog, hahaha) x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monah Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 My OH had to ring me to ask where the dog food was, and what each dog eats when I spent a night in hospital!!!We've been together 25 years and money is ours, no problem there. But, if you want something done ie. kids or pets, easier to just do it yourself we had a lot of disagreements over animals for the first few years! Different upbringings. One thing I would not back down on though. I don't think you are overreacting at all. Fairs fair. If he had expensive hobbies he would have them at your expense, ie. no money for other things together. It's just a little puppy, surely he can help out a bit. How do you pay bills and groceries?? I'm a big believer in 'ours' not, yours and mine, esp after 3 years together. He sounds very immature (sorry!) and irresponsible. Surely he can commit to a dog! I'd be questioning other areas of the relationship. He doesn't want to pay anything, but then sets the rules re dog ownership etc. Who does he think he is???? Maybe he knows that's an easy way to 'get' to you. He should be happy you are happy with the pup, not making an issue out of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wantsmoredachies Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 Hi Guys, Alot of what everyone is saying does ring true, he is very immature, selfish, lazy and controlling...... I think this issue has underlying relationship issues, i think i might just trade him in for another Dachie The amount of times these kind of issues have had me with my bags packed, but silly me, im a sucker for puppy dog eyes........I do feel like his mother and flat mate not a partner and maybe i need to do something about this, i have a big problem with saying no to people but maybe i need to get out for my sanity , thanks for your comments, they have def helped my confusion and frustration :cool: And yeah its my house too, we pay equal parts so i guess i can have the dog on the couch with me, he isnt allergic so there shouldnt be any problems....... I can train him the way i want and do what i want with him, maybe i should suck it up and pay for everything myself and do everything myself because in all reality I dont think this relationship will last but was prob trying to fool myself as we have been together for a very long time, only living together for 3 years...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joebloe Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 You know you'll have to keep us all informed of what happens now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saradale Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 (Perhaps I'm just nasty and jealous, my dog is MY DOG only, mine mine mine! Any potential boy toys need to know they'd be second to my dog, hahaha) x I like the way your mind works!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wantsmoredachies Posted June 19, 2008 Author Share Posted June 19, 2008 You know you'll have to keep us all informed of what happens now I will do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♪♫LMBC♫♪ Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Sorry but I don't think your OH should have to contribute anything to YOUR dog. My OH would have been happy without having a dog. But he knew I wanted one so he told me I could get one, but their had to be rules. Its his house too and if he doesn't want the dog on our bed/furnature or anywhere else, he has every right to say so. It may be your dog but its not just your house. He lives there too and there have to be rules to satisfy both parties. You really should have discussed all these things before you got a dog, and if you weren't going to accept your OH's point of view you shouldn't have gotten a dog until you had your own place for it to live. I know it sounds harsh but I get the impression that you don't like your OH very much anyway. I pay all the expenses for my dog, from his purchase price, to the petrol I used visiting his breeder, his food, vet bills and all the expenses that will come from showing him, its my responsibility and I think my OH has been very compromising by allowing the dog to live in our house. He has to put up with all the bad parts, barking all night, messes in the house, so why shouldn't he be allowed to have boundaries? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puggy_puggy Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Leave your partner and get another dog. I think that it is fine that he doesn't pay for vet bills and food etc but seeing that you pay half the rent for the house you should have a say in what goes on in the house. If you want the dog inside then you should be allowed to have the dog inside. If you want it up on the couch you should be allowed to have it up on the couch. Maybe if you didn't contribute to the house rent then it might be fine for your partner to set the house rules but you do so you should have a say in things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaywoman68 Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 OH knew I wanted a dog and offered to pay half for the dog of my choice. I chose Orson (my gold Cocker). I decided to get Orson a playmate so I got Oi. OH didn't pay for Oi at all. OH feeds them in the morning and he'll feed them treats and he'll play, cuddle, brush and sleep with them but he refuses to pick up poo/clean up the wee newspaper (Orson does his business on the newspaper inside the house). On the odd occasion he will pick up the poo but very rarely. OH and I put in $50 each for our food every week and we use that money to help buy the dog food and worming tablets. Normally I would buy it first with my money then slowly reimburse myself with the money. I have been paying majority of the vet bills and annual dog registration (there's an annual fee in the ACT though they recently introduced an one-off fee). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♪♫LMBC♫♪ Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 Leave your partner and get another dog. I think that it is fine that he doesn't pay for vet bills and food etc but seeing that you pay half the rent for the house you should have a say in what goes on in the house. If you want the dog inside then you should be allowed to have the dog inside. If you want it up on the couch you should be allowed to have it up on the couch. Maybe if you didn't contribute to the house rent then it might be fine for your partner to set the house rules but you do so you should have a say in things. This goes both ways. If he pays half for the rent he should get a say too. If he doesn't want to have the dog on the couch/bed/inside then why shouldn't he be allowed to say no? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corvus Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 Living with someone is generally a series of compromises. I grew up in a house where my father loved the animals, dogs especially, but never did a thing for them. Training - forget it, feeding - wouldn't have a clue, clean up after them - as if! When my mother had my dog and rabbit and hare on top of her 2 dogs, 3 cats, and budgie for a while, do you think he ever helped out? Nope. I took on all 9 animals for a week while she was away and was just about run off my feet. It took half an hour just to feed them all before I got to bed. I couldn't believe she was doing all that without an ounce of help. But then, when I wanted a puppy before I'd moved in with my partner, he wanted me to wait until we'd settled somewhere. When I said I wanted to do it before because I'd have the support of my family, he said he'd rather be the support and take on an extra dog as a joint thing between us. In his family, both his mum and dad look after the dog. Either one knows how much to feed and what needs to be done. I am still trying to come to terms with living with a man who helps with the animals. I don't expect him to because they are mine, but he does because he cares enough to want to have his own relationship with the animals. I still apologise to him every time I leave a big job to him. He's starting to take advantage of it by making me clean out the hare's cage every week while he does the rabbit's. The hare's cage is about ten times more disgusting than the rabbit's. Expense-wise, after being together for 4 1/2 years, we still don't have a combined account. He earns about 3 times as much as me, so we like financial independence. We do intend to get one soon, but in the meantime, I pay for food because I pay for groceries. I pay for things I want to do with them and he pays for things he wants to do with them. Last time we took the rabbit to the vet, he offered to pay. I think he did that because he has built a strong relationship with her and cares most out of any of the animals for her welfare. She's his special girl and when we decided to take her to the vet it was mostly him talking me into it. I guess I wouldn't ever ask him to pay vet fees for my animals. I don't want him to resent them and me. It's got to be his choice. You can't force someone to care. Regarding rules, I think it's fair for people to have strict rules. Strict rules apply when someone cares very much about something. I am very much for the dogs sleeping in the bedroom but don't want them on the bed. Partner would love to share the bed. I win because I care more. I win with most things with the animals because I care more, but I'm considerate of what he wants because we all have to share a house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leema Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 I haven't read all posts, but I'm the only one that pays for dog stuff here... And that means, if we break up, the dogs are MINE!! MINE!! MINE!! We've been living together for ~3.5 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oceanaussi Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Very interesting! When I met my OH 8 years ago, Hera was only 1 year old. He doesn't really like dogs and Hera was mine anyway. I recently got a Weimaraner and I told OH I'm getting one, he didn't even know what they look like and just a couple of weeks ago he was very surprised that Quen had papers and a pedigree longer than mine. They're my dogs. I feed them, I train them, I walk them, I play with them, I pay for them. We've been living together for 8 years now and we don't have joint accounts. It was my decision to get a dog so I carry it. He feeds them if I ask him to but I have to show him where the dogfood is and which dog is getting what and how much. I wouldn't even expect my OH to pay for my dogs. ;) Last night he took them for a walk - the first time in 8 years! And as for house rules: It's my house. he doesn't like the dogs inside at all which I cannot accept. So we compromise on no dogs on furniture and in the bedroom. Needless to say I'm doing all the cleaning to. But he does all the gardening. For us this works well. Pitty to hear that some people are in such difficult relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissMolly Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Well i am really lucky, my OH will clean dog poo and wee (when he gets home before me) if one of the girls have had an accident in the house while we have been at work. Also it's our money so we both pay for treats and toys, i started with one cavalier, and said to my OH i would like another so then i got my second and then i said i would love a tri (others were two blenhiems) so now i have three. We both work and if and when they might need major vet treatment he has said he would pay for it, he never had animals in the house when he grew up now we have three cavaliers on the bed with us most nights and they share our couch. He loves and adores them as much as me, but he knows they are mine and this doesn't bother him... Miss Molly P.S I shall have to give him a huge hug and a thank you when we both are home tonight as i am certainly a lucky one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeamSnag Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 (edited) My OH wasnt a dog man when i met him, but has since changed...id be greatful for anything, But i dont expect him to do much... My OH works away atm he is doing 72 hour weeks... and is 8 hours away, id be lucky if he comes home on thursday this week it not who knows when he will be able to get home...Ill just give myself a big cuddle haha Ill say it again... You are better of doing things yaself! Edited June 24, 2008 by SeaMonKeY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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