wantsmoredachies Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Hi Guys, Not too sure where i should have posted this but puppy section sounds good as Duke is a Puppy.... Okay...After 2 years of pesueding and nagging my partner and finally moving to a house with a backyard i brought a Dachshund puppy named Duke, my problem is my partner, he doesnt contribute anything to the expenses for Duke, he didnt help me pay for Duke, hasnt spent one cent on food, toys, microchipping, obedience, bedding, not anything...Now we have been living together for 3 years, wouldnt you think that even though i wanted Duke and he didnt care either way, now that we have Duke my partner absolutly loves him but is not helping much with the cleaning or contributing to the expenses at all, i am quite annoyed as i know he loves Duke alot and would be devestated if we had to get rid of him (which will never happen as i would rather lose my home than my dog) but he isnt helping at all, i know that i wanted the dog, but he is my partner and we have lived together for a while wouldnt you think that it would be fair that he contribute??? Am i being silly about expecting that he should chip in to look after him??? I mean if we had a baby togther would he expect me to cover all the expenses, I see this as part of our "family" we already have a cat, which he also doesnt contribute to (although the cat doesnt cost much at all) I am just wondering i guess if people think this is fair, I mean he gets all the benefits of of dog ownership but doesnt contribute at all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogsfevr Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 You dont have a an account together?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andanin Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Did you discuss sharing of expenses before you bought the puppy? Have you spoken to him about it since buying the puppy? Personally, I would not expect my partner to pay for expenses of my dog. If we had bought the dog together, then yes, perhaps a shared responsibility would be appropriate. Before I seperated from my partner, I rescued a dog from our local pound (He was stolen from our yard 3 months later, but that's a different story). Because he was my dog, and not my partner's, I bore the brunt of the expenses, including food, toys and vet bills (and as he had some issues from before his rescue, these were quite large). Yes, my partner loved the dog, played with him, etc., but the dog was mine, and therefore my responsibility. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wantsmoredachies Posted June 17, 2008 Author Share Posted June 17, 2008 Hahaha sounds like i am being silly No we dont have shared accounts....Maybe i am expecting to much...... I have discussed it with him alot and he say yes he will contribute but then when i ask him for money to go towards vet bills or food he has a sad and wont give me any because he has "some bills this week" dont we all have bills??? maybe I should revoke his puppy privlages...lol... and i do help him out finacially so maybe i am resenting him for not helping me..... Maybe this has more to do with relationship issues and me expecting too much....hhhmmm Thanks for the insight.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wantsmoredachies Posted June 17, 2008 Author Share Posted June 17, 2008 I guess another reason why i feel a bit bitter is because the puppy has to live by his rules and not mine, he is very picky about everything,no dog in the bedroom, dont cuddle the dog on the couch,etc... i mean i couldnt even get the kind of dog i wanted, i originally wanted a older dachshund as i work full time and thought i did not have the time for a puppy, but i wasnt allowed to have one unless it fit all his guidlines and part of those were to get a puppy and train it from the start....and i did bend and fit his guidlines because i wanted this so so so badly and i just thought since i couldnt get exactly what i wanted as i am in a partnership and need to make my OH happy aswell i thought it would go both ways, we get what he wants and he helps out.... I guess not... Stupid me.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeamSnag Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 (edited) Ill just add my OH doesnt help me one bit.., He wont cuddle them, or take them out to the toilet, Men are lazy haha well mine can be.. i get sick and tired of pickin up after him My mother always tells me... You are better of doing things yourself!! My OH works away, only home on weekends IF that.. What he dont know yet is im going to add other to the family soon Edit to add.. He also said no dogs inside or on the bed That went out the window when we brought them haha Edited June 17, 2008 by SeaMonKeY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wantsmoredachies Posted June 17, 2008 Author Share Posted June 17, 2008 Hahahaha yeah my OH is lazy...lol.... I wish he worked away, i guess if he wasnt living with me i wouldnt resent him so much, or at least get married to him then i can spend his cash....hehehe...... well i think in the future I will have to get what I actually want whether he wants it or not...lol... Another one hey?? Sweet when is that happening?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeamSnag Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Only time will tell I get what i want, he gets what he wants Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wantsmoredachies Posted June 17, 2008 Author Share Posted June 17, 2008 Hey i just had a thought, maybe i can trade my partner in for another Dachshund....... Thats would fix my problem...lol..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeamSnag Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Hey i just had a thought, maybe i can trade my partner in for another Dachshund....... Thats would fix my problem...lol..... Oh how id love too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joebloe Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 A friend of mine's husband bought her a dog. He does nothing with it, just says "It's your dog". Now they have kids, & he is the same with the kids. His beer & Foxtel is more important. My friend does everything, so don't think having kids will change him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kyliegirl Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 (edited) A friend of mine's husband bought her a dog. He does nothing with it, just says "It's your dog". Now they have kids, & he is the same with the kids. His beer & Foxtel is more important. My friend does everything, so don't think having kids will change him how is that funny? I find that very selfish of the man and very unfair.. Actually alot of you ppl seem to have men who seem very selfish and unfair, esp babyluvachi whos OH has rules to the house, what happened to equality? is he your father? why does everything have to go HIS way in the house where is your freedom of the house? I thought the point of living in your own house with someone was for freedom of your own rules and to enjoy the house and not be bound by someone elses rules, he sounds like hes fathering you more than making you equal. I have NEVER had these issues with my OH, we both debate and reason to what we like and dislike, we request but we never force eachother on things while yes I wont let the cats in the bedroom as much as I would love them to, its because I want to sleep and not hear my oh suffer all night from allergies. We dont dissalow eachother to do things, hell if i wanted the cat on the bed i could bring the cat on the bed, sure my oh may not be happy about it but its my choice, and its also his choice to remove the cat off the bed. If we buy something like clothes or pay bills, pet food etc, while the cat was my choice to buy we share all the money. Money is not HIS or MINE, its OURS, as is the house, its OURS, not HIS or MINE, the food is OURS, the bills are OURS, the cat is OURS, we are together and being together means sharing the pain and joy, we share the problems, we share the house, we share the food we share the responsibility. Wether or not it was me or him who got the cat or dog or shoes or car, we share the responsibility. I dont have a liscence but I am more than happy to pay for petrol one day. My OH may not like cats but he will be more than happy to buy cat litter and cat food and clean out the litter when he gets home to replace it. Thats what a relationship is supposed to be like, you share everything together. So far we haven't ever argued, we have been living happily together for 5 years like this and there is never a problem, only solutions to reasoning and discussion. Edited June 17, 2008 by kyliegirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chopperlodge Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 It was originally the other way around here. He wanted the dog, harped for years until I gave in and now it and all the rest are mine. He gets them for a short play time after work but otherwise he has to fight me for 'em. Also was one that didn't allow pets of any kind in the house, well that didn't last. They have their own lounge right next to the fireplace in winter and can come and go as they please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joebloe Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 A friend of mine's husband bought her a dog. He does nothing with it, just says "It's your dog". Now they have kids, & he is the same with the kids. His beer & Foxtel is more important. My friend does everything, so don't think having kids will change him how is that funny? I find that very selfish of the man and very unfair.. .... The situation my friend is in is not funny & I & plenty of people have told her so. The laughing emoticon is because of the comment by the original author of this topic assuming her OH will help out if they have kids. Not everything is as Rosie as you would like it to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss B Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Some of you guys are getting taken for a ride! My OH is wonderful, he takes pup for her potty breaks, feeds her, trains her, cleans up after her, comes along to puppy pre-school etc. Having said that though, we have lived together for several years, have joint finances etc and the decision to get our puppy was a mutual one. If you really wanted a puppy and he did not, then I wouldn't expect him to contribute towards it's costs. On the same token, if he is not contributing towards the puppy financially then why should he have the final say in how the pup is raised? Do you guys share rent? If so you have every right to raise the pup however you like, in my opinion anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christina Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Does it really matter that much ? Its not a huge expensive really. I dont think thats whats wrong. I would be more worried about his rules & orders. My advice Do not marry him. Say goodbye to him & get another dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pug Hugger Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 A friend of mine's husband bought her a dog. He does nothing with it, just says "It's your dog". Now they have kids, & he is the same with the kids. His beer & Foxtel is more important. My friend does everything, so don't think having kids will change him how is that funny? I find that very selfish of the man and very unfair.. Actually alot of you ppl seem to have men who seem very selfish and unfair, esp babyluvachi whos OH has rules to the house, what happened to equality? is he your father? why does everything have to go HIS way in the house where is your freedom of the house? I thought the point of living in your own house with someone was for freedom of your own rules and to enjoy the house and not be bound by someone elses rules, he sounds like hes fathering you more than making you equal. I have NEVER had these issues with my OH, we both debate and reason to what we like and dislike, we request but we never force eachother on things while yes I wont let the cats in the bedroom as much as I would love them to, its because I want to sleep and not hear my oh suffer all night from allergies. We dont dissalow eachother to do things, hell if i wanted the cat on the bed i could bring the cat on the bed, sure my oh may not be happy about it but its my choice, and its also his choice to remove the cat off the bed. If we buy something like clothes or pay bills, pet food etc, while the cat was my choice to buy we share all the money. Money is not HIS or MINE, its OURS, as is the house, its OURS, not HIS or MINE, the food is OURS, the bills are OURS, the cat is OURS, we are together and being together means sharing the pain and joy, we share the problems, we share the house, we share the food we share the responsibility. Wether or not it was me or him who got the cat or dog or shoes or car, we share the responsibility. I dont have a liscence but I am more than happy to pay for petrol one day. My OH may not like cats but he will be more than happy to buy cat litter and cat food and clean out the litter when he gets home to replace it. Thats what a relationship is supposed to be like, you share everything together. So far we haven't ever argued, we have been living happily together for 5 years like this and there is never a problem, only solutions to reasoning and discussion. I agree with most of this. Apart from the chocolate is most definitely MINE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andanin Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Say goodbye to him & get another dog. That's what I ended up doing with mine! The dog doesn't complain as much when I spend time with my friends, and doesn't shy away from spending time with my family... in fact, he quite enjoys it! Dachi, I wouldn't say you were being silly, or over reacting. You have every right to be annoyed that he's not helping out. Was simply pointing out that I had a similar issue with my ex, and that because of that, I'm rather jaded when it comes to the idea of partners paying for dog care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuvMyCav Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Have to say I don't think you and your partner are on an even footing here. Sounds like he calls the shots and you just have to fit in with him. If you're okay with this, then there's no problem. If you're not, I'd suggest that you let him know because, as a couple, you have every right to be equal. You also have to come to agreements together about what your puppy is and isn't allowed to do. If you want him on the couch/bed/whatever, make sure you let him know and together decide what's acceptable in your shared home. Don't let him make all the rules - it's not his dog (he's made sure of that by not contributing financially) and it's not just his home. Maybe it's time to have a think about the way he is in general. Is he always so controlling? Can you count on him when you need him? Why have you had to help him out financially and yet he's not willing to do the same for you? Bottom line is, it's your dog. And even if you persuade your OH to pay for some dog things, it isn't going to change the fact that he doesn't want to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerraNik Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Have to say I don't think you and your partner are on an even footing here. Sounds like he calls the shots and you just have to fit in with him. If you're okay with this, then there's no problem. If you're not, I'd suggest that you let him know because, as a couple, you have every right to be equal. You also have to come to agreements together about what your puppy is and isn't allowed to do. If you want him on the couch/bed/whatever, make sure you let him know and together decide what's acceptable in your shared home. Don't let him make all the rules - it's not his dog (he's made sure of that by not contributing financially) and it's not just his home.Maybe it's time to have a think about the way he is in general. Is he always so controlling? Can you count on him when you need him? Why have you had to help him out financially and yet he's not willing to do the same for you? Bottom line is, it's your dog. And even if you persuade your OH to pay for some dog things, it isn't going to change the fact that he doesn't want to. I'll second that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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