You Need To Show The Dog Who Is Boss

[SkySoaringMagpie]

Some things I often hear dog people say to people who have their first dog and are new to training:

"you need to show the dog who is boss"

"you need to be tougher"

"you're too soft"

"that dog has you worked out"

"you let it get away with too much"

"that dog has you well trained"

I've long thought that those kinds of statements are worse than useless because many newbies would like nothing more than to have more control, but they just don't know how. The whole situation with their dog is often really frustrating to them, and what they get is people pointing out the bleeding obvious, without helping them with practical things to try.

Plus those kind of comments make most newbies feel at least two inches tall because it makes it sound like the problem is a failing of moral fibre and/or intestinal fortitude. This can encourage those with something to prove to overcompensate. On the other hand, those who are a bit sensitive can often jump to the conclusion that you think they should be hanging their dog two feet off the ground by a choke chain, when all you really mean is that they should stop giving it food rewards until it does something to deserve the food.

Sometimes I wonder if people who are "naturals" with dogs forget that they need to backchain for the humans, not just the dogs. While it may be second nature for experienced people not to give a command that will be ignored, the newbie needs to be given explicit practical instructions on what to do when a dog doesn't respond to a recall, or doesn't take a heel position, or won't gait properly around a show ring. Saying "you need to show the dog who is boss" might be true, but you may as well say "the sky is blue" for all the good it will do.

What will help is someone saying "try this". For example: "work with your dog on a stair to perfect the position and stop him creeping forward" or "if your dog doesn't respond to a recall in the backyard, go and leash him and bring him in - don't make coming in an option". Even if what you suggest doesn't work for that dog, it gives the owner something to try. And if you have nothing practical to suggest, I think it's better to go with the old standby guideline: "never miss an opportunity to shut up".

[Tonymc]

Anita,I understand where your coming from as I have been guilty of a form of it myself.

I get what your saying and how frustrating it would be to somebody new to the Game.Your right many a new person is looking for answers with some substance and relevance not just Fob-Offs.

I was very guilty of the point you make.Growing up isolated in the Bush,we had many rank Dogs and Horses.The more you experience something, the more normal it becomes to you.As a Child I took it to be normal to have some fairly rank Horses and Dogs around.I got used to dealing with this type of Animal, as you just had to face whatever came your way and get on with it!!!!

I got top the stage later on as an Adult where I had to do a re think.somebody would come along and ask about a problem with a Horse or Dog.I would ask,well describe the issue or show me.Many times then due to evaluating it against my own life experience,would see me discounting the Person"s Problem.Many times I thought"Thats not even a problem its so minor,so get over it and get on with it"

I had to re think and see that, to that Person and where they were coming from,it was indeed a relevant issue or problem.

The way I used to think and discount People"s problems helped nobody!!!! Tony

[Erny]

I agree - it's not just a matter of making a statement, but about showing or explaining "how" and "what".

However, there is the other side of the coin too ..... although I see it occurs more on the internet than elsewhere - mainly because we can't see to assess the person's individual ability. Sometimes you go into the "how" and "what" only to have the person who asked or expressed a problem retorting with an air of offence because they have a higher level of understanding of the dog training game than what you might have unintentionally given them credit for.

Sometimes I've refrained from the more full explanation for fear of causing them insult. Other times I've taken a punt. On the odd occasion it's a 'lose/lose' situation. But ..... I guess that will happen. Hopefully they will accept that as much as those offering the help have to too.

Edited September 18, 2007 by Erny

[SkySoaringMagpie]

However, there is the other side of the coin too ..... although I see it occurs more on the internet than elsewhere - mainly because we can't see to assess the person's individual ability. Sometimes you go into the "how" and "what" only to have the person who asked or expressed a problem retorting with an air of offence because they have a higher level of understanding of the dog training game than what you might have unintentionally given them credit for.

I figure if someone expresses a desire for help, especially on the internet, it's up to them to deal with the fact that people are going to assume a basic level of practical knowledge unless they make it very clear where they are up to with everything. I think any request for advice should give a rough idea of what they've tried already anyway. As I think I've mentioned before anyway, on the internet you will often get people posting requests for advice that are essentially some variation on "Internet! Tell me it's OK to rehome/euthanase this impossible dog who is not behaving like Lassie!! Nooo, don't make me do any of that complicated training stuff!!" Those people don't want help, they want permission to do the wrong thing.

Sometimes I've refrained from the more full explanation for fear of causing them insult. Other times I've taken a punt. On the odd occasion it's a 'lose/lose' situation. But ..... I guess that will happen. Hopefully they will accept that as much as those offering the help have to too.

When it gets down to it, when I offer help, it's invariably out of concern for the dog in question. In other internet spaces I sometimes get terribly grateful and surprised notes back thanking me for my help. At that point, it seems kindof gauche to say that I didn't go to the effort of writing it out because I'm a nice person but rather because I love sighthounds and want to help create a world where their owners have more clue.

[Erny]

I figure if someone expresses a desire for help, especially on the internet, it's up to them to deal with the fact that people are going to assume a basic level of practical knowledge unless they make it very clear where they are up to with everything.

Well, that's what I figure too, but ..........

When it gets down to it, when I offer help, it's invariably out of concern for the dog in question.

I think you'll find that's the majority of occasions for most. The end result would be, of course a happier dog AND person, and that's the beauty of it.

Edited September 18, 2007 by Erny

[Mushaka]

I agree,and lets not mention any names LOL,but Erny and I know who im referring to.

When ever u ask a question,one "trainer" on here goes into "showdown" mode and finger pointing,such as blaming the owner for small training issues.

People ask advice and need explanations,not answers that "fob off"..

Good point u made,lets hope the guilty parties get off thier high horses,and help,or refrain from contributing negatives

[Erny]

I agree,and lets not mention any names LOL,but Erny and I know who im referring to.

Hi L&L .....

Actually, I didn't have any 'specific' person in mind. More a generality.

Hope things are going well for you.