Polite Way To Get Oh To Stop "training"

[greychicken]

A tough one.

I brought dogs into our lives about a year ago. OH wasn't against it but wasn't exactly for it either.

Basically said it was "my venture" and I was to be responsible for everything.

That suits me fine, they are very much my dogs and I like it that way.

Ok, so a year later he is besotted by our girl - who has been with us for almost that long, and our new boy, that we have had for 6 weeks odd.

We are starting to walk them together and due to my work commitments changing he sometimes feeds them for me.

Here is the problem.

They walk beautifully on lead for me - not him

They sit when asked for me - being greyhounds this is no small thing - not him

When we are walking I ask them to sit on kerbs before crossing the road. My girl does it, my boy needs some more training as he has only just figured the whole sit thing out. OH tends to try and force the issue, which I DONT want as I fear it will make Rocky reluctant to sit in any circumstances.

I love that OH is involved, but I cringe when he bandies about words like "sit" "stay" etc, my dogs are very sensitive to me and behave very well, I am trying to think of constructive ways to approach OH and explain that Rocky is only 6 weeks out of racing kennels and not as trained as Patch -who has been with us for nearly a year and seems to know what I want from her before I know!

How do I get him to stop undoing all my training without offending him????

[sidoney]

Just thinking in text here. Perhaps you could see if he's interested in a trick training project or something like that, using clicker training, which focuses on positive rewards. Maybe some kind of useful or impressive behaviour that you can't force, like a nose touch or some other targeting behaviour. Something that is not the things that you are training ATM, and then you can get those things sorted without his input.

ETA: Using this kind of training approach could help him to understand the power of training without using forceful methods.

Edited September 4, 2007 by sidoney

[Tonymc]

GreyChicken, no matter what area of Life whether it be Dogs,Business,Health whatever often trying to get a point/s through to those close to us can be fraught with difficulty as you are experiencing.

Quite often People will listen more to somebody not connected to them better.One option would be to firstly,yourself have a talk to a Dog trainer and explain your situation and what your worried about.When the Dog Trainer is aware of your situation,then get him or her to have a talk to your OH. Tony

[greychicken]

TonyMC, tell me about it! Everything I say to him is "suspect" and the same thing coming from mums OH is gospel!

sidoney - I should have been a little clearer, he doesnt use force as in physically but just stands there repeating "sit" in an increasingly stern voice, to which my greyhound takes offence..... he is a delicate soul and raised voices freak him out.

thanks for your suggestions, I think I might circumvent the walking anxiety by getting a twin lead and handling them both myelf, then OH can be in charge of holding the treats to hand out when Rocky "sits" when asked.

I am glad that he wants to be involved after all this time, I went out for a walk this afternoon as OH was out, he rang me while I was out and said he would see us in a bit, was most dissapointed that we had left the park when he got there

It was just too cold and miserable....

[Silvawilow]

I'm about as subtle as a freight train and have, unfortuantely, on a few occasions upset my hubby by jumping down his throat about mucking up the dogs training - I'm just too quick off the mark some times

I have found that like you greychicken, my dogs won't heel for him when walking on lead and don't do auto sit for him - now just let them go and when I walk the dogs they are still good for me (must be my "serious eyes" look I give them!)

My OH is a very handy guy and he loves to make me stuff I need/want, agility equipment, puppy pen, dog yard, kennels, even made me a cat avary. Perhaps you could suggest this?

Edited September 5, 2007 by Silvawilow

[greychicken]

silvawilow - HA my boy is a carpenter, I have been waiting 4 years for a coffee table.......

I am not the subtlest either, I have so far refrained from saying anything at the risk I put him off totally, I really do appreciate the turn around in him, it is nice that we are a "pack"now, instead of him being very much on the outer.

The dogs have done wonders creeping into his heart, when I am not around he is very sweet with them and when he thinks I am not listening he tells all and sundry how fantastic and well behaved they are.....

I don't worry so much with Patch, she is clever enough to do what is asked of her, but Rocky is at a delicate stage, he really is a sook, if you look at him sideways he gets upset. I want him to be well balanced and obedient (as far as that goes for greyhounds)

I think he just forgets that Rocky doesn't quite understand what is being asked of him. Will try and approach it in a positive way - maybe take him to obedience and he can handle Rocky while I work with Patch, that way it won't be me telling him what to do!

Do you have to pay more to have 2 dogs at obedience?

[sidoney]

In my prior experiences, you have to pay for a dual or family membership rather than a single one, and ground training fees are per handler rather than per dog.

[Silvawilow]

silvawilow - HA my boy is a carpenter, I have been waiting 4 years for a coffee table.......

I am not the subtlest either, I have so far refrained from saying anything at the risk I put him off totally, I really do appreciate the turn around in him, it is nice that we are a "pack"now, instead of him being very much on the outer.

Do you have to pay more to have 2 dogs at obedience?

You'll just have to come on a holiday down to Victoria and borrow mine - he's a cabinet maker and I've got him working good In 4 years he's made coffee table, outdoor setting, bookshelf, bed, pc desk and tall boy. And that was without me ever having to bribe him :rolleyes:

At our obedience club you have to pay to have a family membership if there's 2 handlers.

[stephenb]

I was never one to have pets because I am not disciplined enough to do all the work required. My wife owns all the pets. She just told me I could walk the dogs but not train them.

Eventually, she gave one of her dogs to me to train as it was being pig headed (Staffy) and she needed to concentrate on the other for it's CDX title.

I train mainly for agility which suits my dog's temperament and have made regulation sized jumps, collapsible tunnel and weave poles for training as home.

One word of advice though. I constantly hear women at trials complaining about partners who do not support them in their chosen sport and some are plain obstructive. Make the most of his interest and keep him involved.

[Tangwyn]

Hi there,

Dogs are pretty bright. They soon learn who knows what they're doing and hence who to listen to. I don't think there's much chance of your OH stuffing up your training. The most likely outcome is as you have described... dogs listen to you and ignore OH. This has been the case with all my dogs and my OHs (BTW I've had way more dogs than OHs! :rolleyes: ) My CDX dogs wouldn't even sit when asked by my partner because they assumed he had no idea what he was on about!

If your partner isn't interested in listening to your advice on training and he's not doing any actual harm to the dogs then let him carry on. He'll give up eventually and either take your advice or start trick training as someone has already suggested.

Its definitely a bit of a balancing act to keep a man happy and feeling like he's making a valuable contribution as well as maintaining the parameters you've put in place to have well-trained and obedient dogs...

Good luck!

[greychicken]

Thank you for all you replies.

I am very keen to keep him involved, which is why I have kept my big mouth shut so far!

They do seem to know that I mean business and they can get away with acting dumb for OH.

When I need to take a bone off Patch I just walk up and she gives it to me, if OH tries she will grab it, play bow and take off around the yard in the doggy version of "na na na na na, I've got the bone" she ends up giving it to him, funny to watch though.

I was given a clicker so maybe I will see if I can get OH to trick train Patch with it while I iron out Rocky, then he can see how he goes with my sooky dog.