Possessive Pomeranian

[Crazydog]

I have a new pomeranian girl who is now 9 months old and have had her for about a month now. She has bonded to me very strongly, which i love, but she has also become protective/possessive of me. She will bark, growl and even snap at my husband should he touch me or try to touch her, particularly if she is on my lap, but at other times as well. She is all of 1.4kgs in size and although its quite amusing to see, its not something i want to encourage. It happens with all people, not just my husband.

I have tried reprimanding her sharply but am worried she will associate the reprimand with my husband being near, and become frightened of him, so i dont want to go that way. At the moment, i have asked my husband to be the one who feeds her everyday. He has tried giving her treats and she will take the treat and eat it and then proceed to bark at him again! Cheeky little bugger!

When she barks at him now, i pick her up and pass her straight to him to hold for a while, which she accepts begrudgingly. Or i place her directly on the ground. (but she still barks at him from there so i think it better she go to him).

If anyone can offer any advice it would be appreciated.

I understand poms can be one person dogs, but my last pom girl would never have dreamed of snapping at someone, even though she was a one person dog too.

I love this little girl to bits, and its really not a huge drama, but it would be nice if we were a family unit rather than just us and him!

[sas]

Ok, here's my opinion, I'm not saying this is what is happening just what I think....

From the sounds of it your Pom doesn't understand where she stands in the pack order, this happens to many dogs, unfortunately it seems to happen to small dogs more due to the way they are treated by their owner.

Your dog is repremanding your husband for getting too close because the dog sees you as 'hers', she sees herself as the Alpha in the pack.

You can snap her out of this, but it all depends on whether you're ready to dish out the tough love because it can be emotionaly harsh for us humans to do.

I really reccomend you head to your book store and pick up a book by Jan Fennell called Dog Listener so you can understand the correct manner in how to communicate with a dog as us humans tend to treat them like humans and then get frustrated and angry when they start to display behavioural problems.

Both yourself and your husband need to start acting like leaders of the pack so she understands where she stands, this takes the pressure off her.

Imagine if Australia were to go to war tomorrow and the Prime Minister said "Ok, I need you to be in charge of the troops, you must protect them and make sure no harm comes to them".

What would you do? Freak out most likely, you'd try your hardest to do the job but you don't really have the confidence levels to do this and you'd probably stuff it up.

You're curently asking your dog to protect the troops....the pack....which is you and your husband. You dog may not be a born leader and may very well be a born follower and this responsiblity is too much for her and she may be very willing to give up her title as Alpha in a heart beat. She could be a born leader and this could take a little bit more time.

Remember, when you're referring to your girl, refer to her as a dog first and her breed second, behavioural problems aren't individual between breeds.

If I were in your situation, I would be doing the following:

1) She's not allowed on the sofa anymore until she can be a follower rather than a leader, so everytime she gets up on the sofa you put her back on the foor, you keep doing this, she'll get the message pretty fast. When you decide to let her back up in the sofa, she must sit first to ask permission and then get on, if she ever just jumps up without asking you put her back on the floor.

2) Each time you are seperated by a door, this can be a hallway door, a bathroom door, a front door, a back door etc on your re-entry you pretend you don't have a dog for a full 5 minutes, no eye contact, no verbal etc. It's very hard initially but just go and do something that will keep you occupied for 5 minutes.

Why do a 5 minute ignore? Alpha's come and go as they please and the pack shows no concern, however when the Alpha returns to the pack they must demonstrate that since they have been gone there have been no changes, Alpha's do this by acting aloof. After a couple of weeks of doing this you should be able to take down the 5 minute ignore to just seconds if your dog is displaying calm behaviour.

Now, after the 5 minutes, you call her to you, if she comes 'instantly' to you, ask her to sit, pat her and continue on with your day. If she doesn't come instantly then you ignore her until you are seperated by a door again and you go through the 5 minute ignore. If she continues to not come (ignoring you) you ignore her for a full day.

Don't give out free attention. You can still give out as much attention but it must be on your terms not hers. If she approaches you and asks for attention, you ignore her. Any time she wants something including attention, she must do something for it i.e. a sit. So not touching her unless she does something first. If she starts to automatically sit, step it up and ask her to drop and keep upping the antie each time she offers the behaviour automatically as that's cheating.

And no more picking her up, your raising her to a higher level and this confuses her position in the pack.

Now, just to burst your bubble....you said this is not a huge drama, unfortunately it is, your dog is currently exhibiting dangerous behaviour that could have her put to sleep if she does it to someone else.

Also, you want your dog to be happy right? Take the pressure off her, she doesn't need to be the leader, she needs you and your husband to be leaders and defenders of the pack and tell her what to do and to show her everything is ok.

Remember though, Leaders are not Bullies, they are Firm and Fair.

Be careful with your tone of voice, females especially need to be aware of their tone, higher tones will exite a dog.

See yourself as the Leader and Protector of the pack and speak in the tone of voice of one....no need to raise your voice though......just have that air of confidence.

Just my 2 cents and what I have personaly used on my own dogs and people I know have used on their dogs with success.

Edited July 8, 2007 by sas

[Kavik]

Does your Pom get carried a lot? Is she being carried when she barks at your husband?

[Crazydog]

Hi SAS.

Yes, i understand the alpha dog principles. We have actually already started some of the remedies you suggested such as ignoring her on entering rooms etc. She cannot jump onto the lounge herself which is good. She does ask to be put on the lounge but i have started to ignore this and only put her on my lap at my request and not hers. I think you are right and i should not let her up at all till she is behaving better. I think i may be the alpha dog but she considers others to be lower in the pack. She respects my reprimands but not my husbands.

I dont consider this is a big drama mainly because i would not put her in the position of being able to snap at strangers in the first place. I would like to get it sorted though.

Thanks for your help.

[Crazydog]

Hi Kavik,

Yes, she gets carried alot as most tiny dogs do. She is barking at my husband, though, even when not being carried or on my lap. Sometimes just when he enters a room i am in.

[Kavik]

One thing I would do is stop carrying the dog around while you sort this out. No laps, no being carried, no sleeping on the bed, and do some leadership activities.

Some which you may want to try are:

NILIF (Nothing In Life Is Free) - you can do a search on this - lots of great ideas

Triangle of Temptation (pinned at top of the training forum)

Get your husband to do some of the training so she sees him leader as well.

[sas]

Hi SAS.

Yes, i understand the alpha dog principles. We have actually already started some of the remedies you suggested such as ignoring her on entering rooms etc. She cannot jump onto the lounge herself which is good. She does ask to be put on the lounge but i have started to ignore this and only put her on my lap at my request and not hers. I think you are right and i should not let her up at all till she is behaving better. I think i may be the alpha dog but she considers others to be lower in the pack. She respects my reprimands but not my husbands.

I dont consider this is a big drama mainly because i would not put her in the position of being able to snap at strangers in the first place. I would like to get it sorted though.

Thanks for your help.

It doesn't sound like she sees you as an Alpha at all. I'm sorry but I think you may be mis-interpreting what an Alpha is.

All the best though

[Crazydog]

Hi Kavik,

The triangle of temptation article looks great. Will give it a go.

She definately has leadership problems. She has come from a breeder where she was housed outside with 10 or so other dogs and now she is an only dog living inside. We are also crating her at night now and only let her out when i am ready the next morning and not when she wants out. When i first let her out i basically ignore her until i get her outside as she gets excited otherwise and wets the floor. Its working very well so i just need to ignore her in other ways too, i guess.

Thanks for your help guys. I think it will just take some time and persistance.

[Crazydog]

Hi SAS,

After re-thinking it over, i think you are right...she is boss at the moment. I think because they are small dogs you tend to overlook the little things.

Thanks for the wake-up. I havent had leadership problems with dogs before, so its all new to me.

[Ittybitty_]

Try getting your hubby to feed, groom ,walk her for a week or two. If she doesnt eat when he gives it to her, then too bad. Get him to take it away from her. And try again the next day.

He can take her for small walks with some yummy treats, and stop every now and then and call her to him, use the lead to wind her in, and then give her a treat & lots of happy talk.

Ive never had problems with my Poms like that, but i know know stubborn they can be. And determined to get their way I am well and truly owned by 8 poms. However they have an outdoor run, out on the grass, where I put them during the day for time out. Not all day, just for intervals. Its good for them to have time out.

Maybe get a C-crate and stick her in a pen outside :D I say c crate because of the lid, and not sure about your girls, but all mine will climb over anything that isnt 4ft high.

With a face like she has, dont get sucked in when she tries to put pity on you for putting her in her place! :p

Edited July 8, 2007 by Roxiekda

[Crazydog]

Hi Roxie,

You hit the nail on the head! The face gets me every time. I didnt have this problem with my last pom but i raised her from a tiny puppy. When she died a few months ago i was devastated and pined badly for her so when little Gidget came along i put everything into loving her and, consequently, have caused these problems myself. I need to remember she is a dog, after all, and treat her as such. And yes, i will get hubby to do the training as well. He is happy to help.

She loves being outside but we have to be careful as there are birds of prey here that may take a tiny dog. We may have to build a sturdy but portable playpen for her.

Thanks, hope your babes are going well.

[Crazydog]

I have a question about transporting her if anyone is still reading.

Now normally, she would have her harness on and sit on my lap. (No wonder she thinks she is Queen...cant believe i didnt see it happening myself! )

90% of the time we travel in a ute so i have no option but to have her in the front. At this time of year the heater is going so the floor would get too hot to put her there.

I have a carry case for her...would it be acceptable to put her in that and then put it on my lap or would that still send the wrong message? We are farmers and i would usually take her around the farm with us as i did my last pom. I wont be doing this anymore until she has learnt respect for us, but i would like to be able to take her to my parents or parents-in-law homes. If we use the car its no problem, she can go in the back in her case, but the ute is a bit of a problem. She cant go in the tray as the working dogs are usually there.

What do you think?

[Sarah L]

Hi Crazydog

I have some questions for you before I would like to offer advice on your problems of snaping and biting at your husband and your transport problem.

Questions:

(1) Has your pup always acted this way with your husband from the day you brought her home.

(2) If not when did the problem stat to happen

(3) Is there any part of the day when she does not respond to your husband in this way.

(4) Was there any occasion that your husband may have accidently tread on your puppy.

(5) From day 1 how much interaction with your puppy did your husband take part in.

(6) Do you have space between the 2 front seats of your ute including the console.

(7) Do you have a play pen aswell as a crate.

(8) How many toys does your pup have in the house.

[Crazydog]

Hi Pinnacle dts,

She was wary of my husband from day one but did not bark at him till we had had her about a week. She also would not let either of our parents touch her. She would sniff their hands but pull back and growl if they tried to pat.

It can happen at any time of day but less likely if we are eating as she expects a treat. (we are not treating anymore unless she does something to earn it....i will try teaching her to sit)

My husband did step back onto her foot one time when he was at the fridge and she was behind him (can you see a pattern here regarding food ) This did happen AFTER she had started to bark at him and i have also stepped back on her once without any repercussions.

She has 4 soft toys in the house that she plays with often and my husband has played with them with her from day one....in hindsight, this may not have been a good thing. I had more interaction with her mainly because she is "my" dog, i think.

I probably shouldnt have called her crate a crate....it is actually a small playpen with an igloo type bed inside. Currently it is behind the lounge and she is in it at night and if we are away for a long period of time. She will go into it of her own free will thru out the day. I started penning her at night as she started to chew a few things (theres another clue for you!) and i was worried about the electrical cords. It also helps with her housetraining, which is going quite well. Where it is situated behing the lounge she cannot see us if we are in the room but i can shift it if it would be better where she can be penned and see us at the same time.

The ute has a bench seat with a cutaway section where the gear stick is. It would be big enough for her to sit between us but not big enough for her carry case.

She was used for showing by her breeders and was used to being approached by the judge. She was always crated for travel. Her breeders were a man and a woman but the woman was the dog person....still the dog had no problems with the fellow. She was kept with maybe 10 other dogs, strictly outside and penned separately at night.

So she has had quite a change and i have really spoilt her and she has lapped it all up in a big way. I hope it can be turned around as i would like other people to be able to enjoy her as much as i do.

[sas]

We have a Ute as well as a car, when we're in the ute we find it perfectly acceptable to place a dog on one of our laps, no big issue because any other time they are treated like dogs.

Edited July 9, 2007 by sas

[Crazydog]

Yes, once she starts behaving in an acceptable manner i dont think it would be a problem, but at this point i was worried it might confuse the issue as she is not allowed on my lap at the moment. If i could sit her between us it would be good. I would have to tie her there.

We have started learning how to sit for a reward today.

[Poodle wrangler]

I had a similar problem with my mini poodle at a similar age, even though I'd had him since a pup. My husband was away and I'd spoiled the dog. After he came back, the dog snapped at him as if to say, "she's mine", and I knew I needed to restore the pack order. The dog had 'promoted' himself to no. 2. He has a more dominant temperament.

We did the basics like no lounges/beds, dog eats last (having watched everyone else eat), dog training, husband doing some feeding and a little training also (e.g. sit for treat). Best thing I've done and we've had no trouble since. Dog is now allowed lounge and bed privileges, when invited, and there's no problems.

Best thing was to address the problem ASAP. The relationship with my dog is so much better for it .

[Crazydog]

Thats good to hear Poodle Wrangler. I think things will turn out ok for us as long as i keep up with the training etc.

[Sarah L]

Hi Crazydog,

Thank you for answering my questons, it gives a clearer picture into what the problem is. In my experience your dog is displaying fear anxiety behaviour. When your puppy was with the breeder and used as a show dog then all training would have been geared towards show ring behaviour and not towards life training that pet dog owners have with their dogs. For a start I dout very much that your puppy got on that well with the man in the breeders house, but it may have looked like she did. Show training can be quite stressfull on the dog. Breeders have their own way of coping with this which is very different from what you will do with the puppy. Now that your puppy is getting older and has this problem there is only one or two things will happen. Your puppy will either turn and run from any confrontation that causes fear or anxieity or stand its ground and defend it's self. Your puppy has learned very quickly that offensive tactics works with both of you when they did not work before

Solving any fear anxiety problems can be simple or very hard depending on what you do. Firstly you must take each problem on its own merit and not lump it into one catagory. If your puppy has a fear of people then that has its own training solution, if it has a fear of other dogs, then that has its own training solution, if it has a fear of travel etc..etc..etc. For other people who read this, these are examples so please do not latch onto this part as your chance to discredit what I am saying.

Crazydog I would not be hung up on food as a training solution, it will be very useful in taking away fear related problems. Toys or anything useful that motivates your dog will all help as training aids.

The first thing I ask a client, is what desired lifestyle do you want for you and your dog. So if the client wants the dog on the couch they can have this. If the client wants the dog to be friendly with people they can have this etc..etc..etc.

Your puppy needs more exposure to life which is done in the right way, rather than being always corrected into certain types of behaviour or denied life experiance which is avoidance behaviour to a problem not cure. This is not a pack related problem as your dog has actually come from a pack type existance to a none pack type existance in your dogs mind. Can you now see why your dog is confused.

Your first desired behaviour from your dog may be for your puppy to stop its bad behaviour with you husband, may I suggest that both you and your husband think clearly about how exactly you want this puppy to live with you. Send me a list of exactly the big picture and we will take each account seperatly to build up your dogs confidence with life and all you want from your puppy. Quick fix's rarely work as side effects appear later on, it takes team work and consistancy from both dog and owner to acheive a peaceful and harmonies life for all.

I look forward to hearing from you.