Thankyou to all that have replied. Not a day goes by that I dont think of my boy. I try not to blame myself for what happened to him, but being his 'mum' I know deep down that it was me that should have kept him safe. It was so hard to live without him after he was gone. The silence, the 'doggy' parts of my day that weren't there anymore, his toys and food, it was all too much and I needed another furry friend. Getting Holly, my GR puppy was a hard thing to do, I felt like I was replacing him. I did get her too early though, I wasnt ready, she frustrated me and wasnt anything like Casper. I loved him more than I realised, each day for 9 years he spent with me and then he was gone. It was total shock.
Holly has been with me for 8 weeks tomorrow and although she is nothing like Casper, and probably will never be, she has her own personality and charm that makes me happy again. She is helping in the healing process and has shown me that it is possible to love again.