LouiseF

I'm so sorry gownchick. I had a lovebird named Dill that used to trott about our room with our elderly bull terrier Diesel. One day Diesel came over to sniff at Dill and Dill gave him an almighty peck on his nose. Diesel basically ran off. Next time Dill was running loose in the room, she was trotting across the coffee table, all cocky as usual. Diesel wandered over and without warning just GRABBED her. It was his revenge, I guess. We yelled his name and he let her go straight away. She flew off and was fine. Many months later, we came home to find the cage upturned and Dill missing - the dogs were locked up at the time so I can only blame the neighbour's cats.

It's only weeks away from this anniversary and I'm dreading it already. I was watering my garden the other night, and I always water the plant we put on his grave, but try not to water the headstone in case I damage it A date shouldn't make any difference to your grief I suppose, but I know that this one will. 23rd January. It'll be one year without my baby boy.

The other night, in my dream, Diesel came back to see us. I am not spiritual or religious in any way, so I do not view this as some kind of visit from the afterlife. It was just a dream. But it was a nice one. I bawled with happiness to see him, and gave him lots of hugs. And I woke up happy from it, not sad. It was just so good to see him, even if it wasn't real. And he was all fit and healthy and energetic, not skinny and exhausted like he was at the end.

Thanks everyone. We miss him so much.

No problem. I've put a thread for Diesel in this section, entitled "1988 - 23 Jan 2006", if you want to see pics of Diesel have a quick look in there.

Thank you.

Thought I would share some more pics (one at old age - still smiling!, and one young):

Sweetie, let me tell you something. About a month after Diesel died, I saw peaches on special at the supermarket and burst into tears right there in the fruit & veg section, because Diesel liked peaches. I thought the same thing at the time - "who the hell cries over peaches?". So we're not alone.

I wasn't posting in January, as I haven't been back to this forum for a long time. But on the 23rd January this year, we had our old bully X APBT, Diesel, put to sleep. He didn't eat for 3 days, couldn't walk or stand and also had the signs of kidney failure. He was also having seizures. Diesel was born in 1988, and purchased by my husband at 6 weeks of age. It seems he was always with us, and it feels so wrong without him. I don't believe in Rainbow Bridge, but he's still in our hearts. Those who know us, know that we do not have children, and don't want any either - our dogs are our family. The girls miss him too. But we're glad he lasted to such an incredible age - he would have been 18 later this year.

Elsa, I lost my bully X, Diesel, in January. He would have been 18 later this year. I was prepared to be sad, and to cry. What I WASN'T prepared for was just how much it hurts. That was a real shock to my system. It still hurts. It really is just time that you need. Time, and knowing that other dog people understand how you feel, and also knowing that you gave a wonderful dog a wonderful life. It sounds like a simple answer, but it's the only answer. It's a normal grieving process. It feels unhealthy because you're so depressed, but it's quite the opposite. It would be unhealthy if you DIDN'T grieve. If time goes by and you still feel you're not coping as a normal person would, seek some counselling.