Hi Pippin, at the risk of being controversial, and I know I'm disagreeing with others here, but the "bed stuff" is quite important, hopefully once you resolve your issues, beds and other indoor "privileges" can be reintroduced. If the trainer's suggestions have made you feel uncomfortable it is important that you talk to them about it. They need to know if you're not happy. I have lots of years of experience working with behavioural and training issues and solving the problems can only be achieved by an open and honest relationship between you and the trainer. If you don't feel it's someone you can communicate with effectively, they are probably not the person for you. If you're looking for a trainer/behaviourist you should always ask to see their dog(s) as well.
I agree with the others who said that if you're not comfortable with this trainer, then find another one - but give them a chance to explain themselves first.
Good luck fixing your dog's problems - don't give up!!