pawbus

Hi bstone7 I lost 2 of my cats, both 18 years old just before xmas. I was absolutely in love with these little girls. Bindi was diagnosed with stomach cancer in August and after thousands of dollars worth of chemo (which I don't regret paying) the cancer spread to her brain. I have been overwhelmed with a broken heart ever since she died. She was so special that our vet got really attached to her. He took her home for the weekend just before she died so that we could have a break. We slept on the floor with her so that we could wake up every 4 hours to give her her medication.She wasn't sick, but she was thin. we used to take her to see Russell the vet every day for 2 months. We all got excited because her cell count was good and she was eating well and on her way back, then all of a sudden she went down hill really fast and within 4 days the cancer had spread so quick that we had no choice but to let her go to be an angel. Shelly was our little persian. she hurt her back 5 years ago jumping out of the cupboard. slowly her back and legs just gave out. We should have done the right thing for her months ago but I knew that I would fall apart (selfishly) When Russell came out to our house to put bin to sleep, he sent both of them to be angels together. It was so hard for all of us. MY husband , myself and Russell the vet all cried. He said that it was one of the hardest things that he has ever had to do. He sent us a beautiful card to say thankyou for giving him the chance to meet Bindi and that she is one patient that will be in his memories forever. He still rings once a month to see how we are going. I have a hard time talking to him because I cry so much. Then he feels bad and it upsets him because he feels like he has upset me. It's awful. I have had such a hard time trying to deal with it, so your not alone in grief. I try and think about all the good things that they bought to my life, but end up just missing them so much that I end up blubbering again. I am usually a strong willed person, but when it comes to my animals I am as week as !!!! I hope that your heart starts to heal soon because I know how horrible the grief over the loss of your pet is. I have to say though, it makes me feel alot better to get on here with people that are all like me and pour my heart out. The people on here are really kind and supportive. They always have a comforting word for you when you really need it. I really do hope you feel better soon. Kim

:rolleyes: I am so sad for your loss. We lost 2 of our little cats a few weeks ago and sometimes the grief is just overwhelming. We would give anything to hold them just one more time. Lucy must have been such a precious gift.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Cancer is such a revolting thing. Lucy knew how much you loved her. It still makes it hard to bear though. I hope your sadness will lessen soon. Thinking of you Kim

Thankyou so much for your kind words. I have been trying to hold it together over the last week and have been really struggling. Most of my family and friends don't understand whats its like to be overwhelmed with love for an animal. When I told them that we had decided to have chemo for bindi, the first reaction was" how much is that going to cost?" And whenever they come to my house the dissaproving look I used to get when they saw shelly walk made me feel like I was always doing the wrong thing. With shelly maybe we were. I don't know? I think wishful thinking always hoped that I would just get up one morning and that at 18 she would go in her sleep so we wouldn't have to make that painful decision. with Bin it was just such a shock, she was so healthy. Her blood tests when she first got sick had her listed as an 8 year old, not an eighteen year old. It goes to show that cancer doesn't discriminate. It helps me alot to know that there are others out there that are also just so in love with their little four legged family members, and that I am not ever being judged because I am absolutely heart broken over losing something so precious to me. I hate it when, and I have already heard it. "Just go and get another couple, you'll be right in a couple of days. Anyway I won't ramble on any more. I just thought that I would let you know how much your messages have meant to me. And also the beautiful poem. Thankyou everyone. I know they say that time heals, but why does time seem to go so slow when you are grieving?

A week ago, with a broken heart we had to say a crushing goodbye to my 2 beautiful 18 year old cats. Shelly our little persian had been going in the back legs over the past 3 months and selfishly we kept saying "she's" O.k she isn't ready to go yet. She struggled to get around and the vet kept saying she is not in pain, just frustrated because she can't get around as quickly as she used to. She was just so affectionate and a little bit dopey. she used to love chasing butterflys and moths. They used to land on her head and she used to look for them as if to say "If I get hold of you,your history! and the thing used to be on top of her head like a moth hat. God I miss her! Bindi was equally as gorgeous. She never had a mean bone her little body. She got sick about 2 months ago and we thought that she was stressed about when we bought Zoe the dobe home from Blacktown pound. After being with the vet for almost three weeks,( and after having the vet fall head over heals in love with her)we discovered she had intestinal cancer. After a lot of tears and sleepless nights we decided to go with chemo. Our vet is just the most amazing man. He used to ring us before he left the surgery, usually at around 9pm to let us know that she was doing fine and that he had given her a brush and a kiss( She loved him just as much so it was so comforting to know that she was with him and being looked after like she was his). He even took her for the weekend so we could go away for the weekend and try to rest a bit. We were so exhausted, but it didn't matter because we would do anything for Bin. We even had a tree fall on our house while we were away. After 10 days of a 14 day treatment of the first round of chemo, her white cell count was good and she was going along well. she didn't have much energy but she used to try so hard to be our little girl. always with a purr and a meow. On Wednesday last week our vet had a dream that something was wrong with her but only told my husband, because he knew I would fret about it. On Thursday she became dissorientated and stumbled around a bit. Friday morning when my husband took her to the vet for her daily checkup, he was home within 20 minutes. His eyes were red and swollen, he couldn't even talk. worst of all he had bindi in his arms and just managed to get the words out that the cancer had spread to her brain and that Russell the vet had to come out to the house and put her to sleep.We decided to send Bindi and shelly together so at least they would have each other. I am still numb I feel like I can't breath. I just want them back. Why did they have to go? My heart hurts so much. I couldn't be in the room when Russell the vet arrived at the house. He was too upset. The strange and sought of nice thing is my husband was holding bindi and Russell gave her a kiss and said goodbye to her and she died before he put the needle into her leg. We think she was waiting for him. It is so unfair she fought so hard to stay. Life will never be the same without you in it girls I miss you so much. I wish you didn't have to leave. you were suppose to live forever. I love you. Goodbye