dee lee

One lives locally- he is huge! Much bigger than my Goldie. Quite gorgeous and not overly reserved. Its owners are around late 50's and live in the inner city, with only access to offlead parks, so I'd imagine the activity levels could be fine for you.

Hmm, GRs are up pretty high. I must have a dud. Honey is so purdy, but, bless her, she's a bimbo.

As a mum and an owner of a cuddly looking dog, I totally understand your frustration, KL. It does sound particularly bad form on the part of that mum. But you responded just fine. I find that so many children want to pat Honey, & as she is so good with them, I usually invite them to as soon as I see the interest. I find it a good way to take charge of the situation, it means I can then guide them through it and advise them to always ask before patting any dog. But as I say, she is very good with kids and I trust her to sit calmly for them. My kids are rarely interested in patting other dogs, but if they do want to (after asking permission), I am always right next to them talking them through the right way to behave. They have had dogs since they were toddlers & were taught the rules from day 1. So silly to be clueless about dogs with littlies.

Well we survived the weekend. Unfortunately Honey was not allowed inside at all, the enclosed deck was only enclosed in fly screen & the surrounding grounds only have minimal fencing (with horses & a dam in the adjoining paddock). We managed though with rope and lots of time outside. My BIL's newish girlfriend is an animal lover (hooray!!!), so we discussed the situation, but ultimately it's my BIL's house, his rules. Taking the kids was just as tiring, though they both dote on them. So, I'm not in a rush to return. I'd rather pay to stay in another property nearby, where I dont have to worry or be obliging. I have to say, once she was told to stay out, Honey was such an angel and didn't step inside even with the doors open! (she was not such an angel outside, all those country temptations drove her nuts!!) Anyway, chore done. Chalk that up to experience.

Ok, having read my OP, it does sound like I take Honey everywhere. I don't. Because I work 5 days and have to run my life around the kids, i have to make a huge effort to ensure Honey gets exercised and out of the house. So it makes my life easier if I am able to bring Honey to my parents' house for example. They are tolerant of it, but are completely flabbergasted as to why I even want to own a dog... I would not take her uninvited to a friends house. To be honest, the BIL issue is just disappointment that they aren't dog lovers. Got a clean smelling, pretty, well behaved, sweet dog - not much more I can do about it. ETA: I have no problem with other dogs visiting me.

To be honest I'm not that bothered by her being out there, though I am a little concerned about the potential for barking. But we will see how that goes. As I have said several times, I'm just tired of such negativity regarding the dog. I wish everyone could be welcoming instead of feeling SO annoyed if the dog goes up to them for a pat. Jacqui835, I agree, I always try to make sure its pleasant to be around Honey. I've just had her bathed for maximum good smelling-ness. sorry, i didnt catch that part, however my spoiled pup is used to sleeping in my bedroom, so i dont really know how he would go out on the enclosed veranda, but if honey is ok with that then i really dont see it as a problem. however i do get your concerns for the negativity towards your dog and would prob just not put my pup in that position, Its ok, I wasnt having a go at you. I am sure Honey would much rather be in with us- and I would too, but it doesnt seem too bad a compromise. I really have to go to visit- my inlaws are pretty good to us and I dont want to upset them by refusing to go. But every xmas time we go away with another family and they (and my OH) spend the whole time telling Honey to go away. So I will be putting my foot down with them and not going next time- only so much I can bear when I have paid to stay somewhere! Family is juuuust a little trickier...

To be honest I'm not that bothered by her being out there, though I am a little concerned about the potential for barking. But we will see how that goes. As I have said several times, I'm just tired of such negativity regarding the dog. I wish everyone could be welcoming instead of feeling SO annoyed if the dog goes up to them for a pat. Jacqui835, I agree, I always try to make sure its pleasant to be around Honey. I've just had her bathed for maximum good smelling-ness.

Thanks to you too Leelaa17! I just dont think i could do it. I'm too sooky about her!! Seriously, her quirks are difficult things for me to leave her with out fretting. My OH is pretty similar- I completely empathise! I feel the same way about if I was ever single. Its heartbreaking isnt it? We had coffee with an acquaintance yesterday who has a stafford. When she got Rose, her husband was as disinterested as mine. I mentioned this and she said that after 3 years he now loves her!!! My OH still just tolerates Honey and I don't expect that will ever change. (he does appreciate what a good dog she is though, which does help.)

I totally get it. Its his house, its nice of him to let her come. If he hadn't, I wouldn't have gone because I would have had no choice but to stay home. Its not about my BIL. This is just one situation. I am wistful for a time when I don't have to worry about it.

Not an option. Dogs aren't my only interest, I am not going to dump my family and friends over it. I just feel sad that this is the way it is. I don't understand why people don't like/love dogs.

Aw thanks, that's so nice of you! :p She has a few "quirks" that make her a bit tricky to babysit- I think I would just fret too much if I left her behind! I'm such a worry wart I'm hoping that I can turn it into a positive- there are horses next door so it will give me a chance to desensitise her (which then hopefully means she wont want to chase the SH police horses at Moore Park! :p ). And the kids are very upset at the thought of Honey sleeping outside so maybe they can guilt my BIL into letting her in! Before I got a dog years ago, I mistakenly assumed everyone loves dogs. How wrong can you be??? I am now pleasantly suprised when I meet a fellow dog lover. Actually, that is one of the upsides I guess- we all seem to gravitate to each other, knowing how few of us there are!!

I am so sick of being the only dog person amongst my extended family and most of my friends. :p Even my OH doesnt like dogs. :p (Though he is pretty good and supportive about Honey because he loves me. ) Its always like pulling teeth when I want to bring Honey anywhere- and I want to take her everywhere I can obviously. I have to ask if she can come, I get the sigh and some times a reluctant yes (which leaves me feeling I shouldnt), sometimes an outright no. Dont get me wrong, I respect everyone's feelings and don't force the issue, but for gods sake, it would be sooooo nice to feel like Honey was welcome. This weekend we are going as a family to visit my BIL in his new house which is in the country. It will be lovely to get out of the city and the kids will have a great time. BIL has been kind enough to let Honey come, but has stipulated she cant sleep inside- she has to sleep on the enclosed deck. So I will spend the whole time attached to Honey, and worrying about whether she is bothering my BIL, who would much rather she didnt come. I cant leave Honey with someone else for the night because I dont trust anyone to do it. I do have a friend who does love dogs but she is quite clueless about stuff. Its only one night and I'll survive, but I'm just sick of it.... Blaaah. Tell me I'm not the only one?

My golden retriever can occasionally get quite focused on birds (seagulls in particular), but generally is not fussed by them. Retrievers are, I believe, bred for having soft mouths. They were required to retrieve without damaging the bird- not chase and kill. I would think that most, if brought up with poultry, would be fine. Just like with cats etc- all in the training and familiarity.

Not sure about the terriers but I can't see why poultry would be problem with the rest?

Well, yeah, I'm biased but, Golden Retrievers get my vote. Similar breed to your current dog so would play well together, easy to see in the dark ( ), GREAT with kids, not high energy, sooo easy to live with (ie dont need constant stimulation), I could go-on... Only drawback could be the coat which being longer would most likely catch burrs in a rural environment? But then same goes for Border Collies and Lappies I guess.

PF, I suspect you are right. Still, at this point its better than having to do it every other day, so I'm happy. I have a few theories I'm working on, one involving her diet, crossing fingers that may be enough to keep the damp patches away.

Just an update (that I hope I'm not jinxing myself with! ). Honey has been leak free for over a month now!! For a little while there I was very concerned it wasnt going to work and had resigned myself to regular pills. I was giving them every 2-3 days and then just forgot and left it for 4 days. No leakage, so then thought I'd wait and start giving it to her if she did leak. NOTHING!!! Hooray! I'm hoping its permanent, but at least now, if it returns I'm armed with information and pills!

Perhaps you are just expecting too much? Try and relax and just enjoy him as your dog, stick to basics and concentrate on caring for him. Keep positive and even if you dont have a bond, then still focus on the good things. I'm sure it will improve- it's only been a few months.

I dont know if its too far but, my vet is: Darlo Vet - 234B Crown Street, Darlinghurst 9380 2300 Julian is wonderful and VERY reasonably priced.

When there are discussions and complaints about offlead dogs, the issue is with dogs OFFlead in ONlead areas. For the most part, on the street. I am presuming that the OP's dog was in an OFFlead area, therefore not a problem and not illegal. I dont know if you are breaking the law- unless you are letting your dog off in an ONlead area?

Of course you'd eb safe - because even if the guys THOUGHT your goldie wouldnt do anything... they'd be pleasantly surprised when the goldie goes for their jugulars if they try to touch u Thats so not likely! My dog is not wholly reliable on being able to pick out the bad guys and besides is an absolute tart for pats. She went through a phase of being quite protective of me (I have since worked hard to train her out of it), but chose the least threatening people to target with her big scary bark. Those poor fat, old people trying to quietly walk to work through the park. The one time we came across a couple of young hoods early in the morning... she just smiled and wagged her tail at them! (Luckily they weren't interested in me- they had just stolen a woman's bag ;) ). I've always just hoped that in a tricky situation, her size would be enough to deter someone and make them pick an easier target. I'm not ruling out that she may try to protect me if someone did try and grab me, but I'm not counting on it.

That is very scary!! What a good dog. It does make me think though- what kind of maniacs would take the risk of messing with a woman walking a dobermann?! Maybe I'm not so safe walking with my goldie afterall!

A few years back, when I felt my kids were old enough and we had bought a house, I decided it was time to finally get us a dog. I'd had dogs as a child and young adult living with my parents, but whilst loving dogs and being a breed dork, it turned out I didnt know much about which breeds would suit my family. Due to the size and a few other factors we looked for a rescue staffy or staffy cross. Unfortunately, the dog we ended up with was NOT a good match. Long story that I wont go into, (and many Dolers will be familiar with) but things did not turn out well. However, during the experience, I learnt that my family is not compatible with stronger, more dominant breeds. We simply lack the strength or ability to deal with them as a unit. So when we next decided to get a dog I was much better prepared (in a large part thanks to DOL! :p ). Golden Retrievers were at the top of my list, as temperament was of paramount importance. My daughter had developed a fear of dogs, so we looked into getting an adult as we would have a better idea of personality and it was more likely to be calmer. We ended up rescuing our divine Honey from Golden Retriever Rescue, and have never regretted it. We all adore her and she fits with us perfectly. Even my OH, who still is not a "dog person" has claimed that they are the perfect breed for us. I agree with him, though I think its gundog breeds in general that are more our speed. I like the way they relate to their humans and that they are comparatively softer, in temperament, than many breeds. I could certainly be persuaded into branching out into a shorthaired one next time!!

Okay so Mum has made the decision that she can't rehome or return the dog. Mum has got ALOT of learning coming her way. Hope she has enrolled herself in puppy school and follows through beyond the standard 4 weeks or so! Perhaps she'll be surprised at what she can achieve. Yeah, yeah I'm usually hopeful. I agree with both of these. If she is not prepared to give it back, I think there needs to be a lot of encouraging of the mum that she can make the situation work. Get your sister to try and convince her that the BM will be the most amazing dog, if she can get it trained. I'd suggest a private trainer to visit at home would be the way to go rather than relying on attending obedience classes that are all too easily skipped. AND tell her to get on DOL. Like Jacqui835 says, the NILIF and re-inforcing pack structure should be a big help. You never know, once she gets over the shock of getting the dog, it might work out really well. I would think that a BM could be a great dog for a single mum and kid, once the mum embraces dog ownership (and gets the dog off the bed!! ).

Living with a major shedder of cream fur- go the non shedders!!! My GR's fur drives me bonkers and I dream of the short hair of a Dobe, RR, Weim, Viz or GSP. I also have yet to meet a smelly one of any of those breeds. (my GR can start to get a bit smelly after a month without washing- I usually notice her fur feeling more oily when a bath is due)